A Baby Boomer's Scrapbook

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Max and Connie meet again…

This is a transcribed record of Max's "Second time around" with Connie Williams. 

Email from Max Bishop to Lakeview Hospital where Connie Docherty (Williams) is listed on the Internet as a member of an advisory board:

From: "Bishop, Max"

To: Mike Matthews

Date: Fri, 13 Dec 2002 09:23:54 -0700

Subject: Connie Docherty

 

Mike,

 

You don't know me and I apologize for the intrusion but, if you can, would

you pass on a message to Connie Docherty for me?

 

Please tell her that, after all these years, Max says hello and that he

wishes her a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

 

If, hopefully, she might want to reply, she can reach me at

max.bishop@boeing.com

   

Thank you very much,

 

Max Bishop

Email from Lakeview Hospital to Max Bishop:

From: Mike Matthews

Sent: Friday, December 20, 2002 8:33 AM

To: Bishop, Max

Subject: Re: Connie Docherty

 

Mr. Bishop - I have informed Connie of your message, having left a message on her answering machine today. I don't know whether she has e-mail or not.

 

Mike Matthews  

Email from Max to Lakeview Hospital :  

Fri 12/20/02 9:10 AM

Mr. Mathews,

 

Thank you very much and have a very Merry Christmas and a great new year.

 

Max  

Email from Connie’s friend, Carole Packer, to Max with a reply from Connie:  

From: Carole Packer
Sent: Saturday, December 21, 2002 2:47 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Connie.  

Connie is a friend of mine and she has given me permission to e-mail you the following: phone, 269-624-4903.  Her address is:  881 Nursery Street , Lawton , Mi., 49065.

Hi Max: So great to hear from you after all these years.  Please call and tell me how you found me.......especially through the hospital board and my third name change.....very curious.  Fondly, Connie Docherty.  

Email from Max to Carole Packer:  

Dear Carole,

 

If you don't mind, please pass this message on to Connie for me. Thank you... Max

 

        Hello Connie,

I'm sorry that it's taken so long to reply but, with a busy holiday season and a little more to do here at work than I like, I've had a little trouble finding a quiet place and time to call. I may also be dealing with a little anxiety over what to say and how to say it after such a long time.

 

Anyway, I do want to at least try and satisfy your curiosity about how I found you.

 

Two years ago in July when I crashed the class of ’66 Meridian High School reunion, I got your name and address from a list of ’66 grads that Larry Maxwell had.  Unfortunately, your name was spelled “Dockerty” on the list and an Internet search for “Connie Dockerty” didn’t tie that name to the address that I had so I assumed that you might have moved and stopped looking for a while.  Last summer when I was in Michigan again for a family reunion, I got copies of the ’65 and ’66 Meridian yearbooks from Bob Letts but didn’t notice until just before this Christmas, while looking through the '66 yearbook, that your name was shown as Constance . After figuring out that your last name was spelled with an “h” instead of a “k”, a web search of “Constance Docherty” provided the Lakeview Board of Governance web page with your name on it. The rest is now history.

 

So that you'll know at least as much about me, my address and phone are:

 

2062 W. Gila Lane, Chandler, Arizona , 85224. Phone: (480) 891-6152 [work] & (480) 786-3578 [home] Work email: max.bishop@boeing.com . Home email: maxbishop@gowebway.com .

 

Thanks for the nice reply and for the memories...  I hope to talk to you soon.

 

Max

 

Letter from Max to Connie: [After a telephone conversation]

Connie Docherty

881 South Nursery

Lawton, Michigan 49065

 

16 January 2003

 

Dear Connie

It was wonderful to talk to you again.  Thank you for inviting me back into your life for a little while.  As I may have mentioned, you were always very special to me.

 

You could never have known how special because I was never capable of telling you how I felt.  I’ve been holding my memories of you inside for a very long time.

 

There were many things that I thought about and wanted to say when we were young but, for whatever reason, the words would never com e out whenever we were together.  It’s too late, of course, but I’ll try to say them now.

 

I don't remember exactly when or where we met at school, or how, but the memories that I do have of you are some of the most precious of my life.  Like friendly ghosts, I expect and hope that they will continue to haunt me until I am past this life and ready to do some haunting of my own.

 

I don't think it was love at first sight but I’m sure I was attracted to you from the time I set my eyes on you.  The first thing I remember though is what I think was our first "date".  You were possibly only 14 (or 15?) at the time and weren't allowed to go out alone with me yet so we must have agreed to meet at a dance in the Sanford Elementary Gym. It may have been a Valentine’s Day dance in 1963.

 

It was snowing and very cold that night and the roads were slippery.  I was a little nervous about driving my dad's '58 Ford station wagon in such bad weather.  I got there before you did and watched you and a friend (Cheryl Walters maybe) walk up the sidewalk after someone dropped you off. I'm pretty sure I tried to be near you most of the time we were there and to dance every slow dance with you.  Some of the couples were kissing while they danced so, when the adults weren’t looking so did we.  The feelings I had for you back then were all very new to me.  You were beautiful, you smelled good, you tasted good and holding you and touching you felt better than anything I had ever done in my whole young life.  It seems that there are just so many first times that we are allowed in our lives and my first time with you was one of the best that could ever have been.

 

On the down side, I also remember trying hard not to step on your feet and that I was feeling as awkward at kissing as I was at dancing.

 

At the end of the dance, I was as high as kite as I watched you and your friend run up the sidewalk to the car when you left and couldn't wait to see you again at school. From that time on, even when I was with someone else, I was in love with you.  Whenever I looked at or thought of you or whenever you looked at me with those big, beautiful eyes, my heart would pound, my palms would sweat and I would almost com completely lose my ability to speak or think coherently.

 

Until you got the OK to date, I think we sometimes met at games and after-game dances and in the hallways at school.  I suspect that I was too tongue tied to talk most of the time, and you probably didn’t notice but I would go out of my way to look for or be near you whenever I could.

 

I think that the first time that we went out alone together was when I asked you to go to a drive-in movie. I waited until the night of our date before I ask my dad to borrow the car and he said no! Begging and pleading with him didn’t work so, out of desperation, I asked my best friend Mike Kauppi’s dad if I could borrow his Volkswagen and, luckily for me, he said yes.

 

At the drive-in, I know I tried to pay a lot more attention to you than to the movie and I don’t know why I remember that the name of it was “The Seven Faces of Doctor Lao” but I do.  The memories I have of my clumsy efforts to make out with you make me smile today but, at the time, I sure wished that I was a lot further along on the learning curve.

 

By the time I dropped you off at home that night, I found the courage to ask if you would go to the Junior/Senior Prom with me and was awful disappointed when you said that your dad had given you the choice of this date with me or the Prom but not both.

 

It is jumping ahead a little bit but this is what you wrote in my yearbook in the spring of ‘64.

 

 

Max,

No matter what you may think I feel,

I'll always think of you as a dear friend

and one who shared many good times

with me. Always remember those good

times. I wish you the best of luck when

you enter the "outer world" and may you

find the right girl some day.

 

Love you always,

Connie

 

P.S.

I'll never forget

the valuable

lesson you taught me.

Thank you,

I needed to learn it

sooner or later.

 

 

I wish there’d never been a reason for the Post Script on this yearbook farewell.  Perhaps you've forgotten and I shouldn't bring it up but there was absolutely no excuse for slapping you that night and it was the most shameful thing that I have ever done.

 

In hindsight, I’m sure that I wasn’t smart or mature enough to have sustained our relationship much past high school anyway but my heart still aches when I think about what I did to drive us apart so soon.

 

That slap and the events that led up to it made that night one of the most emotional and distressful of my young life.

 

We were at a dance in the cafeteria. It may have been after a basketball game but I’m not sure.

 

You were there with your friends and I went by myself and, knowing how strongly I felt about you at the time, I probably tried to spend most of my time close to or dancing with you if I could.  I think I was doing OK at first, until I offended you while we were dancing.  I don’t know if you remember what I did, but I do.  I didn’t understand the effect it had on you and must have been frustrated that you wouldn’t have anything to do with me afterwards so I tried to get Bob Davids to leave with me and go cruising. Bob’s mom wouldn’t let him go so I stayed at the dance.  I should have left anyway.

 

A little later on, Carol Heppner came in upset and crying because while trying to break off with one of the Varner’s (Don, I think), he was harassing her and wouldn’t leave her alone.  I was a little too charged up and, when her distress got to me, I headed out to confront Don.  Although he was a head taller and probably outweighed me by 30 or 40 pounds, I stopped him in the hallway on his way into the cafeteria and told him something like “If you want to bother Carol, you’ll have to go through me and though you can probably beat the crap out of me, I’m going to hurt you as much as I can in the process!”

 

Luckily for me, he stopped and didn’t call my bluff.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so brave (or stupid) since but fear and anxiety caused by that little episode probably didn’t do me any good.

 

I don’t remember what happened from that time until the end of the dance except that I must have been so emotionally screwed up that on my way out, I walked up and hit you. 

 

I knew instantly that I had done a terrible thing. 

 

When you caught up to me outside on the sidewalk and slapped me back I only wished that you'd been able to hit me hard enough knock me out of my misery for being such an ass.

 

I stayed up all night that night and wrote a long letter to you in an attempt to apologize and tell you how I felt.  There was no way at the time that I could verbalize those feelings so, instead, I hitchhiked to your house to let you read what I wrote.  When I got there, your mother, seeming to understand what was going on, cleaned off the table so we could talk.  I sat across from you while you read my note.  I don’t remember what was said after you finished reading.  I only know that I left as unhappily as I came.

 

For quite awhile after that, I felt so much guilt that every time I saw you, I just wanted to turn a walk away.  After some of the guilt was gone, most of my contact with you was just watching from a distance.  I have no idea what you were feeling about me.

 

After a long time, we did go out again and, although I remember some of the details about when we went parking, I don’t remember what else we did that night or why we never went out again.  Whether it was because I asked and you said no or because I didn't ask again.

 

I’m sure you didn’t know but it always hurt a little to see you with someone else.  I remember that for a little while, you were going with Dave Schneider.  You also spent some time dating Bob Pyle and, for some unfathomable reason, I have a clear memory of your looking back at me when I walked by while you were sitting in the bleachers with Bob at lunchtime.

 

I remember a party at Leslie Wetherall’s house on a cold winter night when you and a girlfriend skated across the lake to get there.  I'm sure I tried but couldn't get or keep your attention.

 

Another, different sort of memory, is of a summer night when I was driving around Sanford looking to find someone I knew.  I met a new girl that I’d seen at school and asked her if she’d like to go with me to a dance at the fairgrounds. We went back to her house and, after a long conversation with her dad, he said yes and we went.  Although the girl was very cute and seemed to be awful affectionate for a first date, when we got to the fairgrounds, you were there with some friends.  The girl I was with kept asking if we could leave soon but that’s all I could think about was what you were up to so I wanted to stay.  We finally left because she had to be home by 11 but it wasn’t until she dropped me off that I learned why she wanted to leave the dance early.   It turned out that she had just turned 15 and I was her first date.  Instead of going to the dance, what she really wanted to do is go out and park!

 

On another summer night at Francis Grove there was a DJ who started a dance contest.  I think that I may have started the contest with you but you dropped out and I finished the dance with someone else (I don’t remember who she was).  I’m pretty sure Clay Maxwell and his date won the contest.

 

After high school, I spent a year at Utah State University .

 

When I got back to Midland from Logan , Utah , I got a job at the gas station next to McDonald's and went to school part time at the Com munity College.   That summer, I remember seeing you ride through McDonalds with a guy that I didn’t know.  I remember feeling helpless to do anything to be with you again.

 

That fall, working full time and going to school part time left me without enough credits to get a deferment and I was drafted.  I didn't want to go to Vietnam so I left for the Air Force in February of 1966 and, after training in San Antonio , TX and Rantoul , IL , spent most of 3 years on a Minuteman Missile base in Cheyenne , Wyoming .

 

As I told you on the phone, our last time together was when I came home on leave from the Air Force sometime in the summer or fall of ’66.  I went alone to a dance at the City Forest and you were there with some girl friends.  You accepted when I asked and we talked a little while we danced.  I don’t know why I remember it but you laughed at something I said when you asked what I had been doing.  You went back to your friends and though I waited to ask you again to dance, you left with your friends and I never saw you again.

 

As I also mentioned, our last contact was when I wrote to you sometime in the fall of 1967 and you sent a nice reply.  You were at Michigan State and told me about a big snowstorm that just about closed everything down in Lansing .  The letter is long gone and I don’t remember anything else about what you said.

 

While in Cheyenne , I met my wife, Kerri and, along with our son, Scott, we moved to Phoenix in ‘70. I worked as a draftsman making maps for the local county government until the fall of 1971 when I was able to start back to school on the GI Bill. I went to Phoenix College for a couple of years and then on to Arizona State for two more.   

I started work at a small airplane manufacturing company called Varga Aircraft in ‘75 and eventually became their engineering manager until they went out of business in ‘82. From ‘82 through ‘84, I worked as a process and project engineer for a glass and mirror maker until I became a crew station designer for Hughes Helicopters (which became McDonnell Douglas) at the end ‘84.  Our daughter Kylene was born in ‘85.  We moved to Kalispell, MT in ‘88 where I went to build small airplanes again but returned to Chandler, AZ and to my cockpit design job at McDonnell Douglas  in ‘89 (we became Boeing in ‘01) where we have been ever since. Kerri works as a secretary for a Medical Physics Com pany, Kylene is a senior in high school and son Scott moved back in with us a while back in order to try and dig himself out of a financial hole. Although I recently took a management job, most of what I’ve done at Boeing  is designing and building cockpits and other parts for helicopter simulators (really just large and expensive video games).  The rest of the time I spend trying to stay out of trouble with Kerri and the kids. I also finished building my own airplane in ‘89 after 3 1/2 years of construction time. It’s a small plane that I fly mostly for fun. Along with a friend, I’m currently in the process of building another one. Luckily for you, I've left out many more of the gory (and very boring) details so that's enough about me. What about you?  Max  

 

I have no regrets at all that I called but, our phone conversation turned out to be very hard for me.  When you told me how ill you are, I think I felt sorrier for myself than I did for you and your difficult situation.  All of the kids that I've met again so far are relatively healthy, happy and active and I had just assumed that your life would be similar. 

 

I am also sorry that I'd waited so long to start my search for you. Especially when I found out that we had been so close in space and time and still missed each other.  Life sure throws us some curves doesn't it?

 

I still have many, many questions to ask and am serious about com ing to see you, if you really don't mind.  Soon, if I can work it out.

 

 

In the meantime, please call me or send a letter or email any time. 

 

With much affection,

 

Max

2062 W. Gila Lane

Chandler, AZ 85224   (480) 891-6152 [work] or (480) 786-3578, email: max.bishop@boeing. com

Transcribed letter from Connie to Max:

Saturday, February, 15th 2003  

My Dear Max!

 

Please forgive the crude stationary and writing but it's all I have the energy for right now.... And I do want to respond to your letter. The anxiety I have created for myself has been paralyzing my ability to respond in the perfection that you deserve. I am so awed and overwhelmed by the amount of work you put into your bio and letter and CD - I still feel do honored that you would share it all with me!

 

As an aside: I am sitting in my living room, com fy chair, cup of tea, freezing cold, sunny clear snowy outside, watching "Smokey Joe's Café" on HBO and thinking of you with each and every song. It is a wonderful musical review of 40' 50's and 60's music. It is icing on the past 2 wks of my nostalgic journey before you, during our time together and after us. If you have the chance to see it, I would be curious what is your reaction to it.

 

It is nearly impossible for me to convey the depth of feelings, emotions and physical reactions you have revived in me. As I said.... It has paralyzed my ability to respond to you. Hence, please accept this crude attempt to do so.

 

It is impossible for me to structure all that I want to share therefore I will probably wander a lot, please bear with me. Perhaps it will take some sort of shape if we can continue to com municate. I respond to questions better than an open narrative. The biggest reason is that I seem to have lived parallel lives: one extremely interesting, educational and rewarding and the other very dark, depressing, and oppressive.... Both of which you had a part of as short of time that it was. I tend to want to speak only of the positive, which is healthier for me but yet the cloudy side is what...

 

-2-

 

has "seasoned" the person that I was, am and will be.

 

Aside: Had to let the dog out, got a peach iced tea and read the fact or maxim on the inside "A one minute kiss burns 26 calories"..... hmmm... interesting!.... will you be my valentine?! Which reminds me, I seem to remember one spectacular valentine you sent to me. I believe I still have it but can't look for it 'til someone com es by to help me to the lower level where my high school scrapbook is.

 

Anyway.... What I mean by the "dark side" relates to what I think I already mentioned to you on the phone. My father sexually, emotionally and intellectually abused me. My memories have been retrieved thru much counseling, from age 8 to 13 years. Bottom line, I have learned how these experiences have colored all my life experiences and created some of my personality.... good and bad!!  As far as our relationship went, unfortunately you, too, were a "victim" of that experience which helps to try to explain some of the many emotions I experienced when I read your letter.

 

Initially I was so flattered my self esteem rose exponentially!  I reveled in the memories of you and felt like a giddy schoolgirl once more. I remembered how cute you were and shy and attentive. I recall those lovely jittery butterflies in my stomach when I would find you at my locker waiting for me. You made me feel so special when you would carry my books and walk me to class. Most of all I remember how wonderfully safe and warm you made me feel when we danced. You made me warm all over and wonderfully light headed at the same time. This was one, if not the first, time I had "positive" sexual and trusting feelings about personal relationships... even as innocent and young and wonderful as they were. Thank you!  In short... I have relived as much as I can remember over and over again the past weeks.

 

-3-

 

After the flattery came the horrible guilt that I had that I have been so unaware of the intense affect our relationship had upon you not only at the time, but ever since. I'm so very sorry I was incapable of seen and understanding your experience and point of view. (But that relates somewhat to the "dark" I'll talk about at another time) I'm sure I was also a victim or at the mercy of 15-16 year old feelings and the self-centeredness we had in our own universe.... sorry.  However, thoughts of you have always brought warm, friendly, tingly and fun feelings up for me. Your sense of humor could readily shake me out of my grumpy early morning temperament at the beginning of each school day. You were so creative and full of surprises! Thank you.  

My guilt continued as I failed to remember all that you mentioned in your letter. But I have to thank you for the mental challenge to think over and over and over.... until a lot came back to me!  Aside: the day after I read and reviewed your wonderful CD... Cheryl called to check up on me! I haven't heard from her since we both decided not to go to the class reunion 2 yrs. Ago!!  The universe keeps sending very remarkable coincidences. Together, she and I remembered more that I had forgotten. But to both of our amazements we could not remember the slapping incident. I have tried and tried to recall the whole thing but only remember parts of it. (Perhaps related to the "dark side") I would like to talk to you about it all.

 

All in all my friend, you have given me and wonderful gift of a nostalgic journey to a very special time in my life that I should have valued much more than I was capable at the time. (dark side interferences). All this at a time in my life that is very pathetic.... riddled with a multitude if health problems that have brought me to seriously confront my mortality. You have given me a genuine pearl of wonderful thoughts and memories that have been "buried" for a very long time. Bless you Max, you're still able to make me feel good about us, school memories, and that my life was better than I remembered it.

 

You are a sweet and wonderful man, that I too would like to know more about. Please keep in touch, as you are com fortable, as I look forward to learning and sharing more. Though I'm single, I in no way want to have any of this cause problems in your present life.. OK?

 

I am currently trying to over com e my hatred of my com puter and I'm getting it set up again. My new email address is cdoc@mei.net - I've not been able to open it up yet, but working on it. I also like phone calls and letters.... Choose whatever... I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Thank you so much for stirring up my dull life!

 

Fondly,

 

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Wed 2/26/03 8:33 AM

Hello again,

 

You don't know how very glad I was to get your letter. My biggest fear was that some of the things I said would bring back more bad memories than good ones and that I wouldn't ever hear from you again. I am also glad that you answered a lot of questions that I had about us without my even asking.

 

You probably also can't know how hard it was for me to call and talk to you in the first place. I had the same paralysis as you and had to pick up, dial and hang up the phone several times before I finally was able to let your phone ring. After we talked, it also took me along time to com pose and re com pose the letter that I sent. Thank goodness for work processors! If I'd tried to pen a letter like you did, it would have looked like it was done by a five year old just leaning to write.

 

In hindsight, I think that my letter may have sounded a bit more melancholy than it should have.

 

I suspect that some people can fall in love many times in their lives and, for them, the latest love is just as intense and passionate as the one before it. For others like me, the passions and emotions of the first love are hard to repeat and we may spend a considerable part of our lives searching to find those feelings again for others that we meet. That was my problem for some time after you and I parted. On the other hand, the search for the next Connie, though fruitless, was always interesting and often fun and, although they are not as emotionally charged, I was rewarded with lots of good memories of the effort.

 

I feel so very lucky that you were there to give me such lofty emotional goals and can't thank you enough for that.

 

I also can't thank you enough for letting me know about the feelings that you had when you were with me. Even after all these years, its good to hear that I did at least some good and to lose some of the insecurity I felt about the effect I had on someone that I liked so much. And please don't feel guilty about anything. We were just kids and, like I said, I was incapable of expressing how I felt even if you were capable of understanding. I'm sure that some of my problem was that I was as self centered as many teenagers were (and are) and seeing things from only my own perspective is part of what made my feelings intense enough to last this long.

 

Even way back then though, I had enough experience and empathy to know that some people liked us more than we liked them and most of the time there is nothing they or we could do about it. Sometimes it was social or personality differences, sometimes bad behavior and sometimes maybe just bad breath or body odor. Life is like that.

 

In my case with you, I always assumed that you were probably afraid that I might repeat my bad behavior of that one night and didn't want to take a chance with me again. I never considered any other motives and could never blame you for that and, at this point in our lives, other motives really don't matter. Again, please, for my sake, don't ever feel guilty.

 

Your com ments about "Smokey Joe's Cafe" were interesting. Since beginning my Internet search for you and others and since the Class of '66 reunion, I have be com e increasingly more nostalgic and find myself listening more and more often to the "Golden Oldies" radio station. Although we have cable, we don't have HBO but I was able to find the Smokey Joe's Cafe video on Amazon. com and will order it to see what you mean.

 

I'm curious to know why you and Cheryl decided not to go to the '66 reunion. I missed you. If you liked Smokey Joe's Cafe, I think you really would have enjoyed the live 60s music at the Rock and Wheels festival.

 

I'll close for now but I think if I can work up the nerve to call again, we'll have to talk more about our time together then.

 

Happy Valentine's Day,

 

Max

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

What follows from here on is an unfinished continuation of the school life story that I wrote over a 2 or 3 year period and included in my last letter to you.  As I worked through the alphabetical list of names from the Class of '64 yearbook, I wrote down my memories of each person and emailed those memories to all of the kids that I was able to find on the Internet.

 

I still work on the list occasionally as time and memory permits but have only mailed out to A through E so far, I think. I've included the whole list here although I've got several more names to fill in.

 

Please forgive me if I've exaggerated a little here and there.  The memories are meant to be as fun and as funny as they are to me now.

 

 

 

Out  of School Life (continued):

 

The Kids at Meridian High:

 

Email from Max to Connie: [Reply to a phone message]

From:                     Bishop, Max 

Sent:                      Wednesday, February 26, 2003 9:01 AM

To:                          'cdoc@mei.net'

Subject:                Your phone message

 

Connie,

 

I got your phone message. I thought I'd sent my reply last night but, for some reason, it didn't go so I sent it again this morning.

 

I have a job in a cubicle and it's hard to make an uninterrupted phone call during the day. If you got my other email and this message, please let me know right away.

 

If I don't get an email reply within the next couple of hours, I'll make a quick call even if we might get interrupted, if you don't mind. Otherwise, I'll try to call this evening after most people go home.

 

Thanks for thinking of me ;-)

 

Max

(480) 891-6152

(602) 656-7214 pager

Email from Max to Connie:

Fri 2/28/03 4:06 PM

 

Connie,

 

I assume that you are trying to type something in and return it with a "Reply" but that may not be working.

 

Even if you are frustrated almost beyond your limits ( com -pukers can do that), since it already worked once, try creating a new message instead of sending a reply to one that you got from me.

 

For my sake, Good luck :-)

Max    

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie <cdoc@mei.net>
To: max.bishop@boeing.net <max.bishop@boeing.net>
Date: Thursday, February 27, 2003 6:45 PM
Subject: Trial flag  

Hey There!

You would not believe what I have been through just to type this line...too much to mention here because I want to get this ... now what did I hit???... out before you leave to see if it gets through to you.  Geeze now I don't know what caused this type set and how to turn it off. I’m really not hollering at you or whatever the word is in email speak.

 

I want you to know that you are the only person in this wide world that I will use this monster for!.. Please be patient with me and don’t laugh too hard!

 

Anyway, here goes, hope it flies!

 

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie: [Sent pictures to her by email]

From: Bishop, Max
Sent: Friday, February 28, 2003 3:30 PM
To: 'Connie'
Subject: The Max I was... [Attached 1968 photo of Max]

Connie,

I will try to sneak up on you chronologically. I sure hope the pictures don't com plicate your email struggles.

Good Luck

Max

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Friday, February 28, 2003 3:19 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Fw: Trial flag  

Email from Max to Connie: [Sent another picture to her by email]

Fri 2/28/03 3:08 PM

[I have attached a recent picture of ] Marlene [Beavers]...

 

Max Bishop
Boeing - Mesa , AZ
(480) 891-6152
(602) 656-7214 pager
M531/C240
Room R201  

Email from Max to Connie:  

From: Bishop, Max <max.bishop@boeing.com>
To: 'Connie' <cdoc@mei.net>
Date: Friday, February 28, 2003 5:05 PM
Subject: RE: Trial flag  

Gotcha!!! [Connie's last email] Try again quick. We'll see if it really works ;-))

 

Max Bishop
Boeing - Mesa , AZ
(480) 891-6152
(602) 656-7214 pager
M531/C240
Room R201  

Email from Max to Connie: [Sent more pictures by email]

Fri 2/28/03 3:30 PM

Connie,

 

I will try to sneak up on you chronologically [with some pictures of me that I will send]. I sure hope the pictures don't complicate your email struggles.

 

Good Luck

 

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Friday, February 28, 2003 3:37 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Can't forward  

Hey There,

Can't seem to figure how to forward messages back. I can't believe how much I have forgotten... I got an A in my Master's class!  Excuse:?...The format of this provider is very different than my AOL screens but this server is only $40 a year for two years!  Again excuse my clumsiness as I think we are better suited to this method of communication at this time? I sensed your charming shyness and I felt anxious to talk...only problem is I truly love the sound of your voice....it sounds so warm and mellow...I keep repeating the answer machine so I can hear you....doesn’t this seem school-girlish??? But it makes me feel so good! It’s like falling in crush all over again.  And I am truly enjoying the journey down memory lane.

 

I have made notes to respond to your long email re: the list of names. It is amazing how we shared different friendships with the same favorite people. More later on that.

So, here it goes again.....I hope!!   

Love

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Fri 2/28/03 4:24 PM

Connie,

 

That worked well. And just to let you know... such flattery will get you a long, long way!!!  Kind of like "Blow in my ear and I'll follow you anywhere!”

 

I know what you mean about the things that you are feeling... I just want to be 16 again and know what I know now. Actually, on the inside, when talking to you, I do feel more like 16; it's just that a peek in the mirror keeps bringing me reluctantly back to 56. I wouldn't give up most of those 40 years on the inside of me for nothin' but I sure wish they'd hurry up with that "Fountain of Youth Pill" for the outside of me...

 

I can't wait to hear more about your life. High school and friends from your view, college and college friends, marriage and travel, social life and love life, joys and hopes and sorrows and desires and all that stuff...

 

I sure hope you can type real fast... waiting... waiting... waiting...

 

Love, Max  

Email from Max to Connie: [Answers to phone questions, I think]

Fri 2/28/03 5:19 PM

Connie,

 

We have 2 dogs and 3 cats right now. We've had and lost a few other dogs cats over the years. Daughter Kylene has also had a variety of pets including a parakeet, rabbit, crabs, lizards, fish and a rat.

 

I like animals but, personally, I’d rather not have any right now because I just don't seem have enough time to pay attention and care for them the way they deserve but Kerri and Kylene want them so... and guess who gets to take care of them anyway and guess who they like best ;-)

 

Believe it or not, although ugly, I thought the rat was the most fun! Her name was Lucy and she was clean and quiet and odorless, didn't take up any space, only needed to be fed and watered once a week, didn't bite and was interesting to watch and play with. Kylene used to love to carry her around the house on her shoulders.

 

I bet you really wanted to know all that didn't ya ???

 

Goin' home now to maxbishop@gowebway.com  

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:    

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Friday, February 28, 2003 3:15 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Maybe I figured some of this

 

Hey again,

The pictures are WONDERFUL!   MARLENE LOOKS SO RECOGNIZABLE. YOU look so darling.  That brought up a question that I had, if you liked animals.... do you? More later on that. I want to see if I can send this!  

Love

Connie

I don't know how I got this font or weird spacing!  

Email from Max to Connie:  

From: Bishop, Max <max.bishop@boeing.com>
To: 'Connie' <cdoc@mei.net>
Date: Friday, February 28, 2003 5:57 PM
Subject: Number 3  

Connie,

I know it's hard but you make me feel good to know that I'm the only one in the world that you would do this for... Did you get the pictures?  

Love,

Max  

Email from Connie to Max  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Friday, February 28, 2003 7:27 PM
To: maxbishop@gowebway. com
Subject: dogs, cats, rabbit...  

Hey there,

 

Glad to hear of your menagerie, I currently am matching you and yours. Since I am so isolated at home right now due to winter and all the bugs going around right, I have to stay away from sickies or risk pneumonia and definite end.  In other words, my immune system is shot and I have to be aware.

 

Anyway back to the four legged kids... they are all a joy and some days my only reason to get up. They cheer me, com fort me, heal me and give me such wonderment.  Humans could sure learn a lot from them...I am, I can relax now and deal with problems as they com e with their support. I have black and silver German shepherd named Gert, 9 years old in May. There is Shayfer {not my name} she was just adopted at the pound in December. She is a Shiatsu, 6 years old and took over as soon as she learned where the food and bed were. I lost a Terrier mix in September and Gert was loosing a lot of ground grieving. Hence Schayfer! I was lucky to find her. It was my first stop and first dog I saw...pretty risky but I just felt she was the one for me and it turned out she was!

Unfortunately (for those who visit and don't like animals) or fortunately, I have three cats: Katie, Emily and Sissy. Each adopted because I have a very soft heart. Emily was especially, was in dire straits. Found her in a Palo Verde tree at our place just crying her lungs out. We rescued her then realized that mama may have put her up there to keep her safe from the coyotes... ooops. Be that as it may, she is very satisfied and very fat to be with me.  'Nuff of that, I could go on for hours about them all.

 

Thought I'd tell you about my experiences with Spencer, your coach. He was my biology teacher during my sophomore year. Gary Suppes had teamed up for a required project. We researched what the effect of smoking had on lung tissue. So we had three pairs of white rats, one smoked cigs three times a day in a bell jar for 6 weeks. One pair smoked once a day and the control pair only sat in the jar with no smoke.  Well, after doing all of the experimenting we had to euthanize these cute little buddies and examine their lungs.  I was horrified to do it so I made Gary and Mr. Spencer do it.  We then made photographic sides of the results and wrote an extensive report. So much for that.

 

In 1989, or thereabouts, I attended a public health convention in Lansing . This was three years after my first divorce. I got up from dinner to use the facilities and when I came out the door there was this guy sitting on a chair in front of the door and stared at me...really creeped me out. As I turned to walk away he said, "Don't I know you?"  I reasoned that that was the oldest line in the book and I wasn’t interested. He said "What high school did you go to?" Then I really laughed and just knew I had him on this one. I said that I went to one of the smallest high schools around, in the middle of nowhere...there gotcha!  He said, "Meridian High?"  I nearly passed out!  I asked him how in the heck did he know Meridian and how did he know to ask me that? "You were one of my best biology students!!"

 

I took a close look and screamed as loud as I could, "MR. SPENCER!!!!! WHERE ARE THE SLIDES AND REPORT THAT YOU NEVER RETURNED????" I was too astounded to be embarrassed to apologize for not asking him how he was first.

 

After we chatted a while he said that he used our project for his Masters project and go an A.  Can you believe that? After 19 years he could recognize me. Then we dated off and on for about a year or so. Really a nice guy and a gentleman.

Weird, no?

 

Anyway, 'nuff for now... I'll try to start your list tomorrow.

 

The very best to you...

Love, Connie

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Saturday, March 01, 2003 3:26 PM
To: maxbishop@gowebway. com
Subject: memories  

Hey again,

Business first, did you ever receive my fuscia colored message? May need to repeat content.

 

Hope you are having a restful weekend.... to me all days are the same and I have to be mindful of weekend days.

 

In order to get started on the list of people, I am overwhelmed again. I will begin with only one today.

 

This one is a long one because it starts with Ruth Bailey and brings in Bob David’s.

 

You shared your experience with Peggy at a party at Greg's.  I don't know if it was the same party or not but I was at one of those "mash-outs" and with Bob Davids!

 

We had found a quiet corner and necked the whole time. I didn't even know who else was there. My hair was a real mess when I got home and I caught holy heck and was almost grounded. (There's some real psychology here as to why but will do that latter).

 

I never knew that you and Bob were buddies and I really enjoyed your memories. The sad thing is I still talk to Bob a lot and never got over his death. He was my first experience with the death of a friend and I think of him a lot.

 

We were each other’s standby when our current 'romances went wrong. I was trying to pursue Clay Maxwell (that relationship was a cat and mouse game through freshman year at college...another story) at the time and turned down two dates to the Homecoming Dance my Junior year in hopes that Clay would ask me.

 

I was never so angry at him when I found out he had asked a new girl, Collette Beach!!!  Never had my pride so bruised. Happened to talk to Bob the day of the dance and his plans were botched too. So we decided to go together. I had no dress to wear so I quickly went shopping. All I could find was a nice a-line black dress with a white lace collar.  This was the first black my mother would let me wear because black was for older women, you know. ish.  So we went to the dance and had a good time with each other but I think both of us were spying on our true desired dates!

 

Believe me Clay paid for that one for quite a while when the tables turned and he tried to pursue me!

 

Back to Bob. We didn't see much of each other the rest of his senior year. But he did look me up at Michigan State when he transferred to apply for Medical School . As it turned out he was denied admission and was totally destroyed. We dated for a while and I tried so hard to make him feel better and to find a new road. Well, I must admit that things proceeded further than I had planned but college girls are college girls...or something like that, Shortly after that he returned to the love of his life, I can't recall her name right now, and continued to be happy. The next thing I hear is he and she were on a ski trip and Bob was killed instantly in a head on crash.

 

Mary Jo was badly hurt and took years to recover. I know because on my first job out of college I worked with her sister...what a small world!!

 

So I wanted to go to Bob's funeral...only had one black dress to wear in my closet...I wore it then and never again. As I said I am still mourning for Bob.

 

Max, I am truly amazed about the number of people we share as friends or memorable acquaintances

...We must have good taste for the best of life.

 

Thank you so much for this gift of journeys down memory lane...

 

Truly yours.

Connie

Email from Connie to Max:

From: Connie

To: maxbishop@gowebway.com

Sent: Saturday, March 01, 2003 10:06 PM

Subject: Dave fink  

Hey There!

Yes, I would like to hear more Bob and Max stories. I have to say that I never thought of Bob as conniving... maybe I should have. Was I connived? Anyway, never mind about college girls being college girls.... I’m sure you know all about it!!! I 'm so pleased that we share memories about a wonderful guy.  Have you ever seen the play, "Our Town"? The concept of death is the best one I have been able to accept. The premise is that when one dies he be comes alive on the other side when someone on earth thinks about him. I like to think this happens for Bob. It's funny but my Mom, Grandfather (who was my lifesaver growing up) and my Uncle have all passed on and I miss them dearly because they were my only family, I remember them in my prayers but I don't talk to them conversationally like I do with Bob.

 

The next character on the list that I remember is Dave Fink. Actually I was enamored (silently of course) with his older brother John...but he was too old.  The summer between junior and senior years he took a shining to me. He just lived a short curvy road from me. So we would meet and tease one another and horse around. Then things got a little emotionally attached. One afternoon Dave's Mom was out so we went to his house and things got carried away and we made out for a while. It must have been one of my first attempts because I felt really guilty about what had happened. It must have been flustering for Dave too because he was hovering around me like a mother hen while he walked me home. After that we just had a close friendship and dated that summer. Whenever I smell Shalimar perfume I think of Dave because he gave me my first bottle. Once school started we parted and the next thing that is permanently enmeshed in my memory was his wreck in the banana yellow Corvette. Just after it happened our bus came up upon the accident and the police hadn't arrived yet. Dave was out of the car bleeding pretty badly and I freaked. The bus driver wouldn't stop and I cried hysterically. By the way the song on the radio was "Tell Laura I Love Her"!!! I can't listen to this song without getting chills.

 

I don't remember much more about Dave after that but I do know he married Cindy Thorsberg from Midland and that he was not really happily married.

 

Well I'll stop now and look forward to your impression and more stories about these people. Take care and stay happy!!!

Yours Truly,

Connie  

Email from Max to Connie:  

From: Max Bishop <maxbishop@gowebway.com>
To: Connie Docherty <cdoc@mei.net>
Date: Sunday, March 02, 2003 10:28 AM
Subject: I'll get back to Bob, but about Dave...

Dear Connie,

 

Thanks a bunch for sharing your memories about mutual friends with me.

 

Dave's yellow Corvette was a source of jealousy for me. It was just before I had to report to the Air Force that he pulled up in it for gas at the Bay station on Ashman where I was working. We had a few minutes to talk and he told me that he had gotten an apprenticeship at Saginaw Steering Gear (and at $4.50 an hour could afford that new Corvette) and had some sort of deferment or medical condition (I don't remember which) so that he wouldn't be drafted. I was having the best times of my young life and really didn't want to leave Midland so I was envious of Dave almost to the point of anger. I'm sorry to hear about his accident (it must have been awful and scary to see it) but I was glad to see from the pictures I got of the last Class of '65 reunion that he appears to be doing well.

 

Sorry about the "college girls" question. Actually, I have no first hand knowledge... While I was at Utah State, I dated a High School girl that I met at one of the college dances and by the time I started school again at Phoenix College several years later, I was married.

 

Regardless of your social life at Michigan State, I bet you were a very good student and very good at the work you did after you graduated. Hopefully, it won't take too much longer for you to get to those parts of your story that I also want to hear about...

 

Happy flying...

 

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie

To: maxbishop@gowebway.com

Sent: Sunday, March 02, 2003 11:51 AM

Subject: Fw: I'll get back to Bob, but about Dave...

 

Hey There!

I certainly hope you have good weather there, its nasty gray and cold here, 20 degrees. Yuck!

 

Anyway just got up, zzzzzzz. I went out to a local pub last night with some friends. It was basically the first time I've gone out for fun since August. Had a good time I think.  Our mailman is a permanent fixture there. His name is Warren . An alcoholic and he greatly lacks personal hygiene. My friend told me that he had a great singing voice and she gave me a burned CD of his music. Later we learn that yesterday was his 60th birthday and the crowd jeers him until he finally got up to sing. He really does a nice job on Elvis stuff and he sang "I'm Falling in Love with You" to ME!!! Yikes! I nearly died of embarrassment...I had no idea in this world that he was "sweet” on me.  We always talk when he delivers the mail but just chatty stuff and he leaves dog bones everyday for my girls and that’s what we talk about mostly I, Gert and Shayfer. Not good. Twice he reached out his hand to me at key verses so that I got the message. I don't like this at all. I hope no one took notice due to his "condition". My friend Pat said that he had been practicing at their house with her husband who plays guitar at the DeDoy Duck (the pub).

 

Anyway, thank you for your message and list. No need to apologize for asking re "college girls"...'Tis a fact, actually I was a late bloomer. The "shrink" tells me it was amazing that I didn't be come very promiscuous (sp?) and eventually end up plying a totally different trade. She claims most abused girls become prostitutes for some form of revenge and sense of control. I may had be come a bit over zealous at first but I always thought that was a normal reaction to the freedom of leaving home??!.

 

In re to your reference of this compuker, did you suggest that I change servers? I'm not certain on what you mean???? Was it because you didn’t receive one of my emails?

 

Another question. What parts of my story are you wanting to know more about? Please ask direct questions because I'm a bit dense you know. i.e. last night’s messages at the pub. I certainly don't mean to build up any sense of suspense for you...there’s no suspense there. I was just trying to respond to the "list" for something to write about...I think I mentioned I'm not too creative!

 

So if there is something on your mind let it out. I also failed that darn mind reading class! I don't know about you but I am finding myself feeling quite a bit more comfortable talking to you. So have a go.

 

Yours truly,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Mon 3/3/03 8:45 AM

 

Hi!!!

 

Weather's been a little cool and wet recently but nice today. Partly cloudy and in the 60s I think. But since you know more about Arizona winter weather than most, I expect that you wish you were here... me too.

 

Sounds like an interesting encounter with an effluent Elvis. Sort of like a scary movie in real time I suppose. I wish I could offer some advice about what to do since the guy may show up at your door regularly. Fortunately or unfortunately, I guess I'm not that attractive and have absolutely no experience with undesirable suitors.  Maybe one day when he shows up you could serenade him with your rendition of "Hit the Road, Jack". 

 

I don't think I suggested a change in servers. I did get a couple of blank replies from you but everything seems to be working fine now.

 

I'm sorry that I am creating confusion with unexplained questions (I may be more creative than I should be). It's just that I have lots of questions bouncing around in my head and a silly impatience for the answers. Things like, "What it was like living and working in Bolivia and Lebanon?", "What did you and your husband do there?", "Did you choose not to have kids or was it just fate?", "How did you end up in Lawton?", "Why and how did you choose to live in Tucson and while here, did you travel around to places that I might have been?... and on and on. Oh, I really wish you'd done better in that mind reading class  ;-) 

 

The sense of suspense is my own so I'll do my best for now to just to have fun reading about your experiences with the kids that we both knew and maybe throw out a question here and there whenever I can't hold back.

 

Thanks for giving me the OK to talk about what's on my mind but I'll probably still try to be a little cautious for a while. In my email experience, saying the wrong thing on subjects like politics, religion or sex can sometimes trigger unintended emotional responses so I tend to tippy toe around those topics most of the time.

 

Personally, I have a naturally contrary nature and the emotional hide of an elephant so a good discussion (argument?) to me is like a football game to a sports fan. You are more than wel com ed (in fact, invited) to ask or tell me anything you want.

 

Ought to go to work and earn my keep... back later

 

Love ya,

 

Max

 

Email from Connie to Max:    

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Monday, March 03, 2003 1:31 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: poor com position!  

Hey There!

I honestly don't know how you can understand any of my messages. The typos are really bad. So sorry, will try to do better. Mrs. Blackstock would be upset.

 

I now understand what you meant about subject matter...skipping around is preferred??!   I have this bad facet of my personality called obsessiveness... tend to get too narrowly focused.

 

Re taboo subjects, I rarely argue politics, religion nor share any stuff re sex. In looking back on the shared list...Too much mashing...feel guilty all over again.

So, I’ll try to give you some insight into Bolivia...its just so hard to narrow it down to the written word...wish I could see your expression to know better how long to keep on any one subject.

 

As you know I went to MSU to study nursing and graduated with honors with my BSN.  Pretty good for a hick from the sticks, no?  During my sophomore year I happened to be dating 3 Larrys... Two Jewish guys from Detroit subs and one from Decatur, Michigan .... Town near here. Actually both of my husbands were from Decatur.... A deadly town for me. But I digress.

 

I'll leave my synopsis of the first two for another time. The third Larry is the one I ended up marrying because we were very good friends and we weren't wanting to leave each other at graduation so we did what all our friends did.... marriage by default. I think we fell in-like with each other... not much of a foundation for a strong marriage.  It was surely an adventurous one and once in a lifetime experience.

 

During our senior year Larry went to Mexico to do his student teaching and while he was there looked up a lot about the overseas private school system. These schools are not DOD but are tuition funded and set up for American diplomat and businessmen's kids. They also enroll native students and third nationals. The school in La Paz had 60% gringos and 40% locals and third nationals from all over the world. The third nationals were missionaries, diplomats and business families also. The great thing about teaching in these schools is that the motivation to study is built into these kids because their families intend American colleges for their kids.

 

School was on the American calendar and curriculum so it was all college prep studies and we had lots of time off for traveling. Discipline problems were minimum, mostly related to the cocaine grown there!

 

I went there as the school nurse but ended up playing "doctor" because there was only one American doctor in the whole city of La Paz back then. He and I worked as a team to take care of our students and teachers and the Bolivian staff. I really had to overstep my bounds. I diagnosed and treated typhoid, millions of strains of parasites, diptheria, TB, hepatitis, on and on. When each new teacher arrived I was privileged to introduce myself by ordering them to "drop trow" and gave them gamma globulin shots to prevent hepatitis.... I had to shoot our principal and he was a very thin, tough wirey guy and he couldn’t relax his buttocks so I hauled off and slapped his reared as hard as I could to cause the muscles to relax so I could get the needle in!!!! What a shock for him and I think his com ment was something like, "It's a hell of a day that has com e when one of your own staff can slap your bare ass and get paid for it!!"

 

Well, I digress again. But now I'm not sure where to go. . The country of Bolivia is fascinating. When we left for there, all I could remember from my grade school geography was the Andes mountains and the ladies that wore bowler derby hats. Sure enough they were there!

 

The city of La Paz is bowl shaped and the rim starts at close to 11,000 feet and wends it way down to about 9,000 ft. The neighborhood status gauge is the reverse of what you might expect.... the poorest residents live at the highest levels and the wealthiest live at the lowest altitude where it is significantly warmer and a bit easier to breathe. The school was at 9,000 ft. Oh my I could just go on forever and ever...it would be so much easier to converse about this stuff face to face. Forgive me if I stop short or ramble, I just don't know how to fit it all in without writing a book!!  Suffice it to say, for now, living there for 3 years was a learning experience of a lifetime and I really want to tell you all about it, just how? I guess I'll have to give you bits and pieces as best I can. Please give me direction anytime.

 

Today its very cold, 20 degrees and I had to go out for a doctor's appointment. Unfortunately the cold trigger ed some very sore hands and wrists so I'm so sorry to say I'm going to have to quit typing for now.  I'll go take some morphine now and try to get back to you later tonite when I'm limbered up.

Send more, send more...I love to read all bout you and yours!!! 

 

Love,

Me  

Email from Max to Connie:  

From: Bishop, Max
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 11:33 AM
To: 'Connie'
Subject: RE: poor com position!  

Dear Connie,

I am starting to miss your almost daily emails.    

I didn't have any time last night to write but will try again later.   

I'm sorry to hear that the cold is affecting your typing fingers so much but morphine sounds like a serious pain killer for some serious pain. I know you told me that your bone disease is life threatening, but is it very painful as well? Could you tell me more about it, if you don't mind? Of course, if you'd rather not and prefer to keep our discussions more about joy than about pain, I'll understand.  

Love ya,

Max    

Email from Connie to Max:    

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 4:03 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Fw: Owwwwwwwww!!  

Hey there!

Not a good day at all...big storm warning for tonite and tomorrow. Unfortunately I hurt the worst before it hits (barometric pressure changes) and this one is a monster. So this will be short and sweet (or as sweet as I am able to be). Forgive the errors please as I'm using the hunt and peck method with two splints on hands. No it does not bother me to talk about my health problems, probably because I have had them for so long and they keep coming...

 

The bone disease (Myeolfibrosis) is very rare and no cure available only blood transfusions when the hemoglobin falls to 8.6. (normal is 12 to 14). Eventually the transfusions will not be effective, then...  There is no pain with this process, thank goodness. Just extreme exhaustion on bad days. The pain is from the Rheumatoid Arthritis that I've had since summer or fall of 1964.? Not sure right now. When they finally decided that was what it was all the docs I had seen told me to plan my future around a wheelchair by about 25 years of age. NO WAY. I found a specialist in Saginaw who signed up on my team to get me through college. But when I told him I wanted to study Nursing even he had his doubts and tried to persuade me to try something else. NO WAY.

 

So off to MSU I go. It truly was a hairy time for me with all the physical demands just to get to class on time let alone how to get there. But I did it to everyone's amazement. It took every atom of my being and a strong pain-over-rider in my stubborn mind, but we made it with very few special favors. I had to be excused from any P.E. but that was mighty fine with me, I hated P.E. with a passion in high school so this was almost worth it, well, only for a short period of time. 

 

It is really curious that when I got to Bolivia, after about 4 months I went into a full remission of all symptoms!! The only supposed reason was the altitude I lived at. It causes super-blood, my hemoglobin was in the low 20's, in fact when tested at home when on home leave the hospital lab thought there machine was broken because Larry's was very elevated also! 

 

Also at the high heights there was less pressure on the joints so they didn't hurt when I used them and I then was able to get exercise and make them all stronger.

 

Isn't that wild. I got a chance to retest this theory when we returned to Bolivia in 1976. It took longer and the relief was not total, but I could keep up and there was very little pain. I've often wondered if that would give me relief again or has it been too long and too much damage in the meantime.

 

So back to the present, I just learned that I can still type (in a modified way) with splints on each hand!!!!  Thank you again, normally I would have assumed the worst and would not have tried.  You are really a motivator.

 

I will be glad when this storm finally hits to get relief. Morphine hasn't worked all day. You mention the strength of painkillers...when I broke my ankle in Oct. I had to have a closed reduction to set it. They gave me the pre-op and then stood around to wait for me to go under the effects of it. Well, I sat there and wondered why they were all staring at me and not doing anything??  Then Carole said she just took here morphine an hour ago so she could get here. The last thing I heard was ok guys boost 'er up!! 

 

Not proud of it but am truly amazed by it.  I can’t imagine the degree of pain I would feel without these strong meds.

 

Have to close...sorry. Please write as often as you can, it’s nice to have you "holed up" with me in this storm!

 

Love,

Connie

 

PS: Just got your hardcopy today. Thank You!! I hadn't gotten my mail the past few days and a friend brought it in for me. So, please let's get the rest of the story...from: Connie Williams" on. Ok?  

Email from Max to Connie:

 
From: Bishop, Max
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 6:01 PM
To: 'Connie'
Subject: RE: Owwwwwwwww!!

 

Hey... let's be careful with that shop talk! ;-))   I understand the hemoglobin stuff but you lost me on the "closed reduction" and "pre-op". By the way, how is your ankle? Are you up and about yet or still havin' to use that chair?

 

To repeat Bolivia, maybe we need to put you in a low pressure bubble (or would that be vacuum chamber?) for a few hours a day. Might not work but calling you a "Bubble Babe" sounds cute.

 

How often do have "bad days" when you are worn out? How often do you have to do the blood transfusion thing? Are the transfusions random or somewhat scheduled ? Do you have to go to the hospital or can you do it at home? Since the disease is so rare is there some history to know how long the transfusions will continue to work and is there any research on the near horizon that might help you? Sorry to pester you with questions but I never did believe that story about curiosity and the cat.

 

By the way have you been brushing up on your Ray Charles impersonation yet?

 

Gotta go again. 6 PM and I'm still at work. I'll try to get at least a little past "Connie Williams" tonight.

 

Max    

Email From Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 8:18 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Bubble Babe  

Hey There!

 

Not a bad idea to use vacuum or hyperbaric chamber… not sure which one.
But sure do like the moniker from it! Re terms: closed reduction is just setting the bone without cutting it open but still use anesthesia, a light one. Pre-op is the injection they use to make you foggy so you don't remember the procedure nor do you fight the anesthesia.  The transfusions are random according to the

Hemoglobin...as soon as it falls below 8.5 (tested monthly).

 

There is your medical lesson for today. Yes I'm out of the chair and off any supports, such as walker or canes... freedom!  Feels good and I hope to stay like this for a long time. As long as I don’t take any hallucinatory drugs from the docs I hope to do just fine. Also no falls....

 

Re relevant info re myelofibrosis.... nothing out there yet to be reliable. My Oncologogist/Hematologist says could be one to ten years all depends upon how much bone marrow has turned into scar tissue... no way to tell that. So the best thing to do is to live each day as my last and be glad when I wake up in the morning. As to curiosity killed the cat...  satisfaction brought him back!

 

As to the illness that causes me discomfort and a real strain upon my self-esteem it is the itching (extreme!!) and the terrible scars all over my body. I feel like I've already had the smallpox and am permanently scarred for life. I'm going to have to dress in long sleeves and pants forever. Not too bad a concession until the heat of summer comes. Heat stimulates the itching and around we go again.  This Purigo Nodularis is the real strange one. None of my 10 doctors have heard of it, even those whose specialty supposedly caused it.... so what’s a body to do?

 

I'll save the other ten diagnoses for latter.... maybe much latter, huh?

 

Tell me more about your hs years and college and how you met your wife, etc.....

 

Anxious to hear from you again,

 

Love,

Bubble Babe!

Email from Max to Connie:

Wed 3/5/03 2:05 PM

 

Connie,

 

[In my story] This is as far as I was able to get past "Connie Williams" so far...

 

Mike Kauppi was one of my best friends from the first grade on but, between grades 4 and 5, his parents were divorced and he moved away with his mom and older sister, eventually ending up in Connecticut. Fortunately for us, the divorce allowed Mike and his sister to spend at one month each summer with his dad and, while he was in Michigan, I spent much of my time at his place.

 

Mike's dad was a chemist and executive at Dow Corning and one of the co-inventors of the silicone sealant that we use around tubs and sink and for engine gaskets and stuff. As a result, they were pretty well off, especially by Mills Township standards.

 

I think Mr. Kauppi owned more than a section of land surrounding the corner of Waldo and Baker Roads with woods and fields, a large, spring fed, pond, a big circular drive to ride around with bikes and go carts and plenty of room to play and have fun.  It was also fun that Mike and his sister Natalie also had horses.

The Kauppis also had a part time maid and yard/house boy to take care of things for them.

 

By the time I got to high school, Mr. Kauppi and his second wife, Mary, also had two little kids, Eric and Martha.

 

Sometime in my Junior year, I think, the kid that did Kauppi's yard and home maintenance work quit for a better job and I took over.

 

It only paid 50 cents an hour but as long as it gave me enough money for weekend fun, like movies, dances and dates I didn't care too much. In the winter, I worked Saturdays and Sundays emptying trash, shoveling snow, and cleaning and in summer, during the week doing yard work like mowing, cleaning out brush, weeding flowerbeds, painting and washing cars (a Porsche and a Volkswagen).

 

As the oldest of seven kids, they knew I was well qualified so I also did a little baby-sitting. The house was back in the woods a ways and surrounded by trees so Mary and Mike's dad took advantage of that and, summer and winter, I would watch the kids in the house while, as nudists are want to do, they often romped and played naked in their outdoor sauna, the snow or in the woods.

 

Although Mary would usually wrap a sheet around herself whenever I walked in, it wasn't unusual for me to walk into the house on Saturday mornings and find Mr. Kauppi sitting in his favorite easy chair, reading the newspaper in his birthday suit.

 

I was there so much that, when Mike was home, I was treated almost like family. Sort of a well treated Cinderfella. And, during the summer, Mike and I would often work together. Me for 50 cents an hour and Mike for room and board.

 

After I graduated from Meridian in the summer of '64, I really didn't have any immediate plans.  Still 17, I knew didn't have to worry about the draft and Vietnam for a few months so, when Mike came home early for the summer after his graduation, I kept working for the Kauppis and Mike and I did our best to find fun things to do around Midland.

 

Anyway, to end this long preamble on how I got to college, by the time Mike graduated he had been accepted at Utah State. Although he could have gone to a closer school, he really wanted to get as far away from home as he could and since out-of-state tuition at USU was cheaper than in-state tuition at Michigan schools, he chose USU.  He had plans to enter their Automotive Technology program so he could continue work he liked to do with cars and get paid for it. But, by the time he'd accepted, decided he didn't want to go way out west by himself, so he asked me to go along with him.

 

Even at less than $1300 a year, my folks couldn't afford it so the Kauppis offered a no interest loan to me so, if accepted, I could go to Utah State with Mike. We scrambled to get the paperwork back and forth to and from the school and, fortunately, I got an acceptance letter just before it was time to go.

 

When I think about it, I can still feel how exciting (and how cool) it was to pile all of our worldly possessions into Mike's old green '54 Ford sedan and head out on the highway into the great unknown.

 

To be continued...

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2003 8:26 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: dull brain??  

Hey There,

I've tried to write this three times now and I keep hitting something and it all disappears and I can't fine it again. So I will try one more time then I'm going to quit, I must be tired.  Its nice today, at last the storm went through and now my pain is greatly reduced. I took the braces off and could walk unassisted to the doctor's office.. On the mend again...

 

So what is happening with you these days??? I'm not hearing much of that lately. I just lost this again and when I tried to clear off the screens there it was. So I'll continue.

 

My brain isn't sorting well but I thought I asked for the "Connie Williams. To be continued..." chapter. If I didn't I am now. I'm ready to hear about what happened on the dance floor, why I would slap you, and the lesson I learned.  I have my guess but to take away the fog would be nice. I also want to know your assessment of us and more than all you have said so far. Please.

 

I need to sign off...really tired. I'll try to get some good rest and maybe give you another memory or two about kids in common.

 

Much Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Thu 3/6/03  

Hi!!!,

 

I sent a continuation of my story to you last night but here it is again, with additions, if you didn't get it then...

 

I'm sorry I didn't follow up on your questions. I think I just got a little ahead of myself. I'll go back through our past emails and try to pick up on things that I haven't gotten to yet...

 

As for that fateful night... 

 

We were dancing very close to a slow song and I was feeling very good about you. As sometimes happened, maybe a little too good and, I had, to be discreet, a physical reaction. Normally, I would have pulled away a little bit so that you wouldn't notice and to cool off but this time I continued to press myself against you. Almost immediately, you jerked away from me and left the dance floor while I chased after you and tried to apologize. I don't remember what you said to me but it was clear that you didn't want to have anything to do with me at least for the rest of that night and, at that point, I wasn't sure if I'd blown it for good.

 

As I tried to say before, that rejection and whatever else was going on in my head that night caused me to stew my own juices until I went up to you at the end of the night while you were standing at your locker and slapped you. Immediately regretting what I did, I quickly turned and walked out to my car. About half way up the sidewalk, I heard you scream at me from the doorway as you came out and I turned back to see you running up to me. When we were face-to-face you slapped me back and continued yelling at me but I was so far gone by then that I have no idea today what you might have said or if I even replied.

 

I'm not entirely sure what you meant by the lesson you learned, except maybe a vague recollection that you might have felt you were leading me on to think our relationship was closer than it really was. That reason may be more imagination than memory but I really didn't feel that way then and nor do I today. That fact is that I just got carried away and had absolutely no reason to do what I did.

 

I'll have to get back to you on my assessment of us today and other stuff when I have a little more time... OK?

 

Love ya,

 

Max

After High School: (continued from previous email)                                                      6 March 2003

 

…What I remember of the trip out to Utah was when we took the car ferry from Ludington to Milwaukee (a little boring but interesting, since we hadn't done it before) and when we stopped in Kemmerer, on the west border of Wyoming, and bought a big box of Cherry Bombs.

 

We hadn't made arrangements to a dorm before we left so when we got there, we rented a hotel room until we could find a cheaper place to stay. 

 

There was no dorm space left and although we looked pretty hard but couldn't find an apartment right away and ended up spending more than a month in the hotel.  Actually, although it was downtown and a little to far from the campus, it was pretty nice, with TV and maid service and all.  There were also a few restaurants within walking distance, which was good, but it was also bad because we ended up spending a lot more money than our budgets would allow. 

 

We eventually found an apartment in an old house about 4 blocks from the college but I think Mike ended up calling home and begging for more money so we could afford to move in.

 

The first quarter of school went fairly well for us ( Utah State had quarters, not semesters). I ended up with a B average and I think Mike did a little better than that.  But, com pared to high school, our social lives were pretty dull.  That was kind of depressing.

 

The apartment we lived in was part of a house that was divided into a one-bedroom side and a two-bedroom side (about a 1/3-2/3 split size wise).  We had the small side and the other was occupied by 4 guys from New England who, I think, had been moving around the country going to school together for about six years.  At the time they were all staying in school to use their deferments to avoid the draft. 

 

All of the guys next door were interesting characters, of legal drinking age and real party animals.  Most weekends it was real hard to get any sleep from the noise next door.

 

Since we'd spent too much too soon, we spent much of our spare time looking for part time work but didn't have much luck.  I had filled out bunches of job applications that all asked the question "Are you LDS" and answered no out of ignorance until I finally asked someone what "LDS" meant.  As you may know, LDS means "Latter Day Saint's" (Mormon) and in all likelihood, if you weren't Mormon, you wouldn't find a job. It was an interesting lesson.

 

We were able to find a couple of day labor jobs though through the school bulletin board. One picking apples and the other picking up potatoes.

 

The potato pickin' job didn't go very well.  They gave us a belt to wear that had a hook on it the hung in front.  A large gunny sack was hung on the hook and, as we bent over to pick up the potatoes, the sack was dragged along between our legs while we loaded it with potatoes.  We got a nickel for every hundred pound sack we filled and, at first could do about 25 bags an hour.  It's a good thing we were young and strong because it was, literally, a backbreaking job.  Unfortunately, after about three hours, the potatoes petered out (too small and too far apart) and we had to stop.

 

When the farmer said that he couldn't pay us because there weren't enough potatoes to make any money on, an older student got angry and told him that, if we didn't get paid, he would tell the school and the farmer might have a real hard time getting help in the future.  Fortunately, the small protest worked and after he left for a little while, the farmer came back with our meager pay.

 

The apple pickin' job went much better but only lasted a couple of days.

 

We were unable to find any more work for the rest of the school year.

To be continued...  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Friday, March 07, 2003 6:52 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Muy Muy tired......

Hey There!

Can barely keep my eyes open to get this done. Believe me, it is Not the company, I wish that was closer, but maybe my blood sugar is running too low. Will have to check it when I'm finished here.

My day was filled with useless running around looking for a no-vent fireplace log set...all dead ends. Did have a nice lunch with my friend Don, I think I told you a little about him, being our surrogate father to Sam and I ? I hadn't seen him since around October when I broke my legs. We had a lot of catching up to do.

Last night's board meeting went well except I think I opened a can of worms between the CEO and the Board Chairman... good and bad! It stirred up a lot of discussion and exaggerated responses.. good interaction. After the meeting, the CEO came to me and thanked me for my very illuminating comments. I asked if it was wrong and got a nice hug in return with a "keep up with your convictions". Obviously I was bringing up the topic she was in favor.

Tonite seems a bit disjointed and confusingly sedate..

Thank you for telling me about the dance floor episode. It was very helpful and a number of fronts. My overreaction to your closeness was a totally automatic movement. My father had stopped abusing sexually at puberty but the memories were still very fresh and sensitive. Any discussion, approach or movie scenes, etc would either paralyze me with fear or trigger an immense "flight" response. It seems that I did both but not to the extreme I was feeling. The flight response was to get away from the situation fast and the chasing you and retaliation was fear driven and self-preservation.  The lesson I learned was to force me to analyze the issue of my father's abuse com ing to the forefront whenever subjected to sexual advances. This was my first encounter that was clearly a seduction and guts said, "here com es the abuse, do something!"  I was on automatic pilot and did the wrong thing that time. It has worked well for me many times since then, though.

It is amazing how deep that whole thing was repressed. Only when you described it could I remember my feelings and depression I developed. You had mentioned a "longing or lingering "look from me in the gym later.... I remember feeling that right away when you brought it up... sad, lonely for you and horribly embarrassed about my white-trash father who had this control over me even then I was totally com mitted to I can NEVER put myself in a position where my secret would be discovered. I don't know if all this makes any sense to you, it feels very chopped up to me. Maybe when I read it over tomorrow I can make it clearer...that is if you want to know more… maybe you don't. But please understand that you were in no way responsible for my terrible behavior... I'm just sorry it got in our way. Also know that talking about this is not depressing me in anyway. I've had years of counseling over time and only last year was I able to clear off my table, so to speak. I was at the point where everyone said I must forgive my father. There was no way in Hades that I would ever try that. Then I found an interesting definition of forgiveness that allowed me to do it. Some say that the process of forgiving is not to condone or sanction the horrible abuse. Forgiving the perpetrator is to free yourself from his power over your life. i.e. to not give him free rent in my head each time I would encounter a memory, subject of abuse, or recalling my "issues" in my life. To my amazement this concept worked for me and I now can recall, talk and com fort others in the throes of the same mess. What great freedom this has given but also sometimes I wonder how I've endured all this. 

Anyway more later if you care to...

Goodnight now.....Love,

                                Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Mon 3/10/03 12:56 PM

Hi,

 

It's nice to get a small slice of your daily life. Tell me more about what you do on the board. And, regarding your suggestions to the CEO, hugs are sometimes the best reward for doin' good aren't they? Can't do that here at work any more though. Too fine a line between reward and harassment. Too bad so many bad actors made things that way.

 

I'm glad you could tell me about your response to me on that high school night. As soon as you told me about the abuse, I kind of guessed it had something to do with it. Your explanation made me stop and think though about how difficult it may have been for you to have a normal date with me. When we went parking on the two times that I remember, you didn't react badly to my fumbling attempts to make out, but it must have been a terrible internal struggle for you to keep from pushing me away when I went beyond hugging and kissing. On one hand, I'm glad I didn't know but on the other, if I had known, I wouldn't have had the slightest idea of what to do about it. As I may have said, those dates were some of the best memories of my life but maybe it's best they those memories for you, are gone. I'm very glad that you can talk about it now, though.

 

Of course, there is nothing we can do about it now but it's too bad that the culture of the time had blinders on when it came to sex.  And, unwilling to talk about sex and sexual abuse, that same culture made it almost impossible for little girls like you to get help. Even at Sanford Elementary, there was a rumor that one of the teachers left because of his behavior with the girls. I suspect that, because it was hushed up, all the teacher had to do was go to another school and continue doing what he was doing. On a personal level, at the reunion, I heard about another girl whose life was very difficult as a result of abuse by her father. When I mentioned it to my mom, she said that she wasn't surprised to hear that. The girl's father worked my dad and was pretty much of a jerk whenever they saw him at local get togethers. Mom also always suspected that the guy beat his wife. I suspect that even my mom and dad wouldn't have known what to do about it either for fear of causing trouble. I think and am hopeful, that things have improved. But... looking at the recent revelations about the Catholic Church... I'm not so sure. Based on your experiences, what do you think???

 

On a brighter note, I had a good weekend. The weather was perfect and I flew the plane to a Casa Grande Antique Airplane event on Saturday. Sunday was a "honey do" day and I mowed the lawn and got a little bit of yard work done. We inherited an orange tree with the house we live in and I finally picked all the oranges. They are thin-skinned oranges and only good for juice so I spent an hour or so squeezing a couple of gallons of OJ. Still got a couple of gallons to go (sore hand from squeezing)...

 

Well, I've already spent too much of my lunch hour on this so I should go...

 

Later...

 

Love,

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:    

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Monday, March 10, 2003 8:31 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: cold!!!!

Hey There!

I'm surrounded by tissue boxes, expectorant, antibiotics hot tea, etc. etc....

That's what I get for leaving the house during cold season... but good grief, do I forever have to stay in this bunker???? Still crappy outside, schools are closed down due to illnesses.  Whatever.

Just a note to let you know you are always on my mind even if I can't crawl out of bed to get to the com puker.  My joints are also choosing this time to flare so its hard to type. As soon as I can get it all together, I'll write more.

Miss you.

Love, Connie

p.s.: making turkey soup, do you suppose it will work as well as "Jewish penicillin" , chicken soup?

 

Email from Max to Connie:

 

Tue 3/11/03 3:38 PM

 

Hey back...

 

I'm not sick but probably won't have any time to stop by and say hello until tomorrow. Kerri just bought a car for Kylene and I have to leave early to sign loan papers so she can take it home.

 

I like turkey soup, even when I'm not sick. In my professional opinion, I think it will help your cold ;-)  Could be good for the joints too... but you might have to spill a little on them and rub it in to do any good.

 

Being sick so much, I know you've had a lot practice with getting well so... stay warm and get well (again) soon. I wish I could help.

 

Yours...

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:

 

 

Wed 3/12/03 9:33 AM

 

Hey Babe,

 

In one of your emails, you talked about the play, Our Town. I don't remember seeing it but found this on the Internet. Is it the same story???

 

Thinkin' 'bout ya,

 

Max

Our Town
by Thorton Wilder (1897 - 1975)

Type of Work:

Presentational life drama

Setting

Grover's Corners, New Hampshire ; 1901 to 1913

Principal Characters

Stage Ma Beer, the play's all-wise narrator
Dr. and Mrs. Gibbs, an ordinary small- town physician and housewife
George Gibbs, their son
Mr. and Mrs. Webb, a news editor and his wife
Emily Webb, their daughter
Simon Stimson, the town drunkard and church choir organist
A conglomeration of other ordinary people living out ordinary lives

Story Overview

Act 1. Daily Life:

The Stage Manager speaks while pointing to different parts of the stage: "Up here is Main Street ... Here's the Town Hall and Post Office combined ... First automobile's going to com e along in about five years; belonged to Banker Cartwright, our richest citizen ... lives in the big white house up on the hill." A train whistle is heard, and the early birds of the town start to appear. The newsboy and the milkman begin their rounds just as the doctor is finishing his. They stop for a brief exchange of gossip: the school teacher is getting married, the doctor just delivered twins, and the milkman's horse refuses to adjust to a change in route.

Now Mrs. Webb and Mrs. Gibbs are spotlighted in their respective kitchens, preparing breakfast. Mrs. Gibbs calls up to her children, George and Rebecca, and, as they appear, com plains to her husband that George isn't helping with the chores. Mrs. Webb reminds her son Wally to wash thoroughly. The Gibbs daughter, Rebecca, doesn't want to wear her blue gingham dress. George negotiates for a raise in his allowance. Each child is reminded to eat slowly, finish his breakfast, stand up straight ... The day has begun.

Later, com ing home from school, Emily Webb promises to give George Gibbs some help with his algebra. At the Congregational Church, choir practice can be heard. In the Gibbs home, George and his father have a "serious" talk about growing up. Returning from choir practice, Mrs. Gibbs prattles on about the drunken choir organist, Simon Stimson. The town constable makes his rounds to ensure that all is well, and the Stage Manager calls an end to this typical day in Grover's Corners.

Act 2. Love and Marriage:

"Three years have gone by," muses the Stage Manager. "Yes, the sun's com e up over a thousand times . . . " The date is now July 7,1904. It's been raining. As Mrs. Gibbs and Mrs. Webb reappear in their kitchens, he continues: "Both of those ladies cooked three meals a day - one of'em for twenty years and the other for forty - and no summer vacation. They brought up two children apiece, washed, cleaned the house ... and never a nervous breakdown. It's like what one of those Middle West poets said: You've got to love life to have life, and you've got to have life to love life ... It's what they call a vicious circle."

Howie, the milkman, makes his deliveries to Mrs. Webb and Mrs. Gibbs, and at each house you hear talk of the same two breakfast-table conversation topics: the weather and the up coming wedding of Emily and George. The chit-chat is typical of things people say before weddings. Mrs. Gibbs worries out loud about the inexperience of the bride and groom; the doctor reminisces about being a groom himself. His fear was that he and his wife would run out of things to talk about which, he chuckles, hasn't been the case at all.

When George comes downstairs and is about to leave for a visit with Emily, his mother reminds him to put on his overshoes. But Emily's mother, though she invites George into her kitchen, won't let him see her daughter. Traditionally, she says, a groom is not allowed to see his bride on the wedding day until the ceremony begins. Mr. Webb placates young George: "There is a lot of common sense in some superstitions." The nervous groom sits down to a cup of coffee with Mr. Webb, his equally nervous future father-in-law. Mr. Webb makes various attempts at small talk and reassures George that his nervousness about impending matrimony is typical. "A man looks pretty small at a wedding ... all those women standing shoulder to shoulder making sure that the knot is tied in a might grand way." He then shares with George the advice his father gave him when he married; the stern counsel to keep his wife in line and show her who's in charge. George is puzzled until Mr. Webb goes on: "So I took the opposite of my father's advice and I've been happy ever since."

The Stage Manager interrupts this scene b y dismissing the characters on stage and telling the audience that he wants to show them "how this all began this wedding, this plan to spend a lifetime together ... I'm awfully interested in how bi 9 things like that begin." He takes two chairs from the Gibbs kitchen, arranges them back-to-back, with two planks across and two stools in front, to serve as Morgan's Main Street Drugstore Counter.

Emily and George again enter, now as high school students. They call goodbye to their friends. Over an ice cream soda George asks Emil y if she will write to him while he is away at college. She admits her concern that George will lose interest in Grover's Corners - and in her - once he is away. He unhappily contemplates this possibility for a moment, then decides that he shouldn't go: "I guess new people aren't any better than old ones." He tries to explain that he has decided to stay because of the way he feels about her, and, in halfspoken sentences, the two manage to express their love. The act culminates in a moving wedding scene, containing all the elements of potential sorrow and abundant happiness.

Act 3. Life and Death:

Nine years have passed, and we are looking down at a cemetery on a hill. We see that many of the townspeople we came to know in the first two acts have passed on. The Stage Manager slowly speaks: "Whenever you com e near the human race, there's layers and layers of nonsense .... We all know that something is eternal. And it ain't houses and it ain't names ... that something has to do with human beings." And so the dead stand, patient and smiling, awaiting not "judgement," but greater understanding of eternity.

Into the midst of the dead is led a young mother. Emily and her second baby have just died in childbirth. She timidly approaches the assemblage, glancing wistfully back toward the life she has just departed. Gradually recognizing the spirits before her, Emily suddenly realizes that none of these people truly understood or appreciated the greatness of being alive! There had been no appreciation of life's little, fleeting moments; no ability to stop and absorb life's essence; no comprehension of the deep human value of the moment.

Emily is given the choice to return to earth and relive a day in her life. The dead - including her mother-in-law, Mrs. Gibbs, try to discourage her, warning her that returning to earth will be too painful. Nonetheless, Emily elects to re-experience one of the happiest days of her life - her twelfth birthday.

As the day unfolds, however, Emily's excitement turns to disillusionment. She feels no joy in watching herself with her father and mother and her little brother Wally; the day is wasted with trivial preoccupations. She cries to her mother: "Just for a moment we're happy. Let's look at one another. . . " Then, pangs of remorse fill her - her life, just like the lives of her family members and Grover's Corners neighbors, was never fully savored either. It cai-ne, was lived in self-centeredness and petty preoccupations, then swiftly departed - all quite meaningless. The suicidal Simon Stimson appears and offers a poignant yet bitter com ment: "Life is a time of supreme ignorance, folly and blindness."

Unable to endure this vision, Emily hurries back to her body's resting place. There she finds George, her husband, weeping by her grave. Too late, she now understands: Our time on earth is an irreplaceable gift, one to be treasured and relished every moment; life is a fragile gift that is delivered to us in pieces, and it only achieves meaning as we cherish and blend the pieces - even the seemingly insignificant pieces - into a full, universal whole.

Commentary

Thornton Wilder's Our Town provides the audience with an informal, intimate and compelling human drama. Wilder was dissatisfied with the unimaginative, stilted theatrical productions of his time: "[They] aimed to be soothing. The tragic had no heat; the com ic had no bite; the social criticism failed to indict us with responsibility." Our Town, with its far-reaching theme and unmistakable symbolism, was a far cry from the typical bland depression era play (though, ironically, "the magic of the mundane" is the play's major theme).

Though set during the early Twentieth Century, Grover's Corner is anyplace and all places, anytime and all times. A constantly shifting verb tense throughout the play reveals that something strange is happening here with time. Pantomime and conversation simultaneously enact life's continuum of time and place.

The principal actor is the Stage Manager, who remains on stage the entire time explaining much of the action. He is aware of the present, and privy to both the past and the future. He knows the characters' feelings, and alternately takes on the roles of narrator, philosophical druggist, host, master of ceremonies, com mentator and friend to the audience.

Wilder creates types rather than individuals in 0ur Town . Every audience member can say, "Yes, I know someone like that. He's just like so-and-so," or "I know what he is feeling. I've felt that way myself." This sense of "recollection" permeates the play to both thrill and haunt us with reminders of our common - and fragile - humanity- By using the barest of scenery and props, Wilder reinforces that our hopes and despairs and loves begin and end not with things, but in the mind and the soul, as our lives unfold through one another. This focus on "absolute reality" allows us to see Emily's simplest pleasures and cares (algebra lessons, birthday presents, etc.) through child-like eyes. Her timelessness helps the audience understand, just as she herself comes to understand, the seamless relationship between past, present and future. Her commonplace experiences (marriage, family ... ) contrast sharply with her death experience, where she finally comes to appreciate the commonplace. The play motivates the audience to treasure everyday life just as it is.

Email from Max to Connie:

Wed 3/12/03 6:00 PM

Hi again,

 

A little bit ago you asked what I'm up to these days and for some info about me and mine so I thought I get started by telling you about sort of an average of a normal week. Pretty routine and maybe a little boring though it may be... (It might help you get to sleep though...)

 

My workdays are about 12 hours long and start at about 5:30 AM when I get up. I've been doing it so long that I don't even use an alarm any more. About a half hour or so to shower and dress and then on the road for about 45 minutes or so from Chandler to the Boeing plant in northeast Mesa. It's a large facility on the north side of Falcon Field (the airport where I keep my plane) and it takes about 10 minutes to walk from where I park my pickup truck to the cubicle I occupy in a Dilbert-like office area. 

 

For most of my time since I got here in December of 1984, I was a cockpit designer in the Simulation department (Simulators are really just large, expensive video games and I'll send some pictures of the things I did if you think your com puker can handle them). About this time a couple of years ago, my supervisor retired and I took his job. Now I am the Simulation Facility manager and do my best to help take care of the people and com puters and other the things that keep our department in business.

 

Anyway, to continue... On Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the first thing I do is attend 10 to 15 minute meeting at 7 AM with the department manager and the other 3 managers at my level). Then, with coffee at hand, I read and answer the half dozen or so emails and phone messages that I have waiting. Of the 60 or so in our department, I have 8 people who work for me so, sometime during the day, I usually wander around to find out what everyone is up to. Monday's I have a regular 9 AM and 1 PM meeting with another on Thursday at 2 PM. Lots of other meetings happen at random during the week. I try to get out for lunch at the airport restaurant called Falcon's Roost with a friend or to my hanger (where I have a refrigerator and a microwave), but most of the time I end up going to the cafeteria for sandwich or soup or just snacking at my desk.

 

Once or twice a year I may have to fly somewhere for a day or two for business.

 

I try to leave work about 5 PM but, with the usual rush hour traffic, I don't get home much before 6 PM. Occasionally, I stop by the hanger to do a little work on my plane and I get home a little later.

 

Although Kerri works at an office, she still likes to cook, so most of the time she'll have something ready shortly after I get home. If not, we'll either get fast food or go out to one of the many nearby restaurants for whatever suits us.

 

Kind of a news junky, I usually watch the news and read the newspaper for about an hour and the rest of my evening is watching TV, doing emails or letters, Internet surfing, reading magazines or what ever com es up. I used to write a newsletter for airplane owners but I just ended that recently. Although we sometimes work or play together, Kerri, Kylene and Scott usually do their own things in the evening. Kylene has a boyfriend and Scott has a girlfriend so theirs a lot of "hangin' around the house" for them.

 

I was able to lose about 15 pounds last year and I've been trying to watch my weight. Unfortunately, I seem to have reached a plateau and mostly I just watch it stay the same, even though I usually get out and walk for about an hour on most weeknights.

 

I try to get to bed about 10:00 but everyone else in the house is a night owl so I feel lucky to get to sleep before 11:00. Most days, I'm kinda tired.

 

I sleep in on Saturdays... all the way to 7 AM or so. That's also usually my play day at the airport. As I may have mentioned, although I already have a plane, airplane partner, Doug Brown and I are building another one. So far it's been 2 years of Saturdays and we expect maybe another year before we finished. That may be a long time but I guess it keeps me out of the bars and away from all them loose women that hang out there. Although I haven't flown much lately, when I'm not building, I also do that on Saturday's.

 

Sundays are family days. Yard work and home projects and repairs. Sometimes, we visit with relatives and friends. My youngest brother Patrick and his wife Raynee (a Sanford girl) live in Peoria . My next youngest brother Richard also lives in Peoria but we don't see him as much because my wife doesn't get along with his wife Jackie (a Midland girl). My folks live in Casa Grande and we see them as often as we can. Occasionally, I'll take a Monday or a Friday off to stretch out the weekend to three days but that's about it.

 

I hope the excitement of my life hasn't been too much for you... I'll try to tone it down a little next time when, for some real excitement, I'll give you a typical month or a typical year ;-)

 

Your turn, babe...

 

Love

 

Max   

 

Email from Max to Connie:

 

Thu 3/13/03 12:38 PM

 

Dear Connie,

 

About Bob... It could be because I'm just another guy but I don't think of what we were doing as conniving. As a matter of fact, I suspect to most girls, it was pretty obvious what we were doing and that they would think that we were just show offs or, when we met them, we would be attractive enough to continue a conversation or accept a date. On that day, when one of the girls got sprayed in Bob's wake as he passed her dock, she just got up, shook the water off as she gave us a dirty look and went back into her house.

 

Most of the time, I think Bob was just a little (or a lot) less bashful about making his feelings known to the girls he met and took advantage of his gift for gab.

 

One night a few of us were with Bob at a night spot on Bay City Road just outside the city limits (at the time). Shortly after we walked in Bob spotted a girl across the room and said something like "Oh my God!!! There she is... the girl of my dreams!!!... I'm in love!!!... oh, oh, I've gotta meet her!!!" Well, we all looked and looked and couldn't see who in the world he was talking about (no Playboy models in our sight anyway) and gave him a hard time about him needing glasses or something. It turned out that glasses were the problem and not his problem but ours. We worked our way around the room until Bob was able to point out the girl he was talking about and, after he talked her into removing her ugly glasses (with must have been blocking our view), we had to agree with Bob that she really was one of the prettiest girls we'd ever seen. Unfortunately for Bob, the girl was there with her shorter and shapelier but not quite so attractive older sister and they were both waiting to meet their dates. He wasn't interested in anyone else that night but he did manage to get her phone number.  I don't remember if he ever got together with her after that but, quite a while later, I did.... of course, that's another story...

 

Like most of us, I'm pretty sure that Bob was just looking for "Miss Right" and was sincere in his feelings for the girls that he met. That he shared his feelings with you, I think is a good thing. As you may know from what I've already said, my experience is that sometimes, for good or for ill, we just get carried away. I hope you have no regrets about your time with Bob.

 

Later Babe,

 

Max    

Email from Connie to Max:   

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2003 9:51 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Fw: A glimmer of hope...?  

Hey There!

Sorry to have been gone so long.... will try harder.

The news article you sent is really encouraging for diabetics. I just wish it would have come about 5 years ago. My problem with it is that I have very little bone marrow left. That rare disease causes my bone marrow to turn into scar tissue and then it is totally inactive and cannot produce any blood cells. About 2 years ago they tried to test the bone marrow to rule out cancer and they couldn't find any in my hip bone. He got just a small drop on the head of the needle and sent it in anyway results were no bone marrow present.. they tried a second time and found nothing so he asked to try again said ok this time they found only a few marrow cells and they were immature and would not produce blood. So the only treatment that I can receive for this problem is blood transfusions when the hemoglobin falls below 8 (norm:12-14)  so you can see I have to be near dead with fatigue before I get relief.  I even have problems intellectually accepting this as a treatment because in 1980 it was not known to search the blood supply for aids , my question is, "What else are they not testing for yet?" 'nuf.

 

The picture of you and ?Scott? is adorable....what a loving look to you. And he is, was a beautiful baby.  Nice job there ace. How old is Scott now. I only ask 'cause you had mentioned he had moved back in due to financial problems...he must have been out of the house long enough to cause them?? I there a large time span between him and his sister?

 

As  I said on the phone, I'm coming out of another slump....two colds in 3 weeks and depression that I can't even leave the house safely. No big deal… just feeling sorry for myself. All the gang from Lawton are out in AZ getting ready to go camping out in the desert near Harquahalla mountain. The last time I was able to go we had 30+ in 12 fifth wheels or motor homes. We had so many toys they pulled them out in a semi. We had a great time riding the old mining trails and climbing Harquahalla with quads, motorcycles and 4 wheel drive vehicles. That was the year I was really proud of myself, I loaded up my cats and dogs and drove out there and back by myself!!!  This year they have a much smaller group. That means everyone gets a hot meal!! With so many people its hard to get hot food. We all bring a dish to pass and usually cook the entree over the fire that burns 24-7. Have had some really surreal experiences. Once we were riding the quad and stirred up a huge owl and flew along beside us until we had to turn and he flew straight over the wash's edge. I could look him right in the eye and almost feel the wind of his wings. So cool.

 

So I'm feeling lonesome back here by myself. Although the weather is getting better finally. Last week it got up to 75 and all the snow is gone, at last. Today we had thunder showers with pea sized hail. Like they say, just stand still a minute and the weather will change.

 

1.      Today was also a "bad dog day". Went out to get the mail and the little dog took off like a streak across the road, I finally got her on the right side of the road by calling her but then she went deaf and explored the neighborhood. I stood out in the rain calling her till I was hoarse and then called my ex for help. He drove the subdivision to no avail. He came back to get me to holler while he drove and sure enough she was exploring somebody's garage. I no sooner get her home and she trounces right into my bathroom and gets into the cat box. She knows that is so against the law. Had to put her in jail for that one. No longer had I felt as though I may have control once more I turn around and my Shephard has gotten into the laundry and absconded with two pairs of my...well, delicates. She very well knows that has been a law since she was a puppy.  So no false sense of control around here tonite....I'm totally on guard!!

 

2.      What does this #2 mean???   See, no control whatsoever.

 

Last night I had to call some friends from Minn. their kids are teaching (were) teaching in Kuwait. They evacuated the end of Feb. Home safe and sound and bored to death.  Thank you I'd rather be bored. Their other son is getting his masters in art at Columbia in NYC, he was just across the river from the twin towers, I asked Linda to order him home too., we'd all be safer, think?

 

Well, I find myself rambling and that means I am embarrassing myself! Thanks so much for the pix and news clip.... keep me informed, I love to hear from you. Also thanx for the phone check-ups, you made me feel better immediately! Seems more relaxed on the phone now, no?

 

Hope to hear soon.

 

Love,

Connie

 

Email from Max to Connie:

 

Fri 3/21/03 11:57 AM

 

Hi again,

 

Just a quick thought and note...

 

With your health problems, I don't know how well you can handle air travel but the airlines are hurtin' for business these days and, if bought in advance, an America West ticket to from Chicago to Phoenix and back is less than 200 bucks.  Better than driving, I suspect. (only a 3 1/2 hour flight)

 

Here's a sample itinerary:

 

Depart 1:26pm Mon, Apr 21 247 Chicago , IL (O'Hare)

Airbus A319 Phoenix , AZ

 

Depart 2:46pm Mon, Apr 28 7 Phoenix , AZ

Boeing 737-300 Chicago , IL (O'Hare)

 

Fare Summary (for 1 Passenger)

Fare $178.00

Taxes & Passenger Facility Charges $20.00

Grand Total  $198.00

 

So... the next time your friends go trekkin' off to Harquahalla Heaven, if you can get to and from Chicago, I can get you from Phoenix to the mountains to meet your friends.

 

More later,

 

Love... Max

 

 

Email from Connie to Max:   

 

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]

Sent: Friday, March 21, 2003 2:01 PM

To: Bishop, Max

Subject: Fw: Far flung friends...

 

 

Hey There!

What a great idea re trip to the mountain!!! It’s too late this year and I'm

on this new drug and would be dangerous to leave until we know if it is

working... but what a dear you are to think of it and to play it out with

the schedules. How very, very thoughtful of you and to offer to deliver me

out there is more than generous... Now I have more to dream on each night.

 

Terribly cold today and the finger joints are hurting, that's my first

signal to lay low and let the med work. Hopefully it will. Been sitting here

thinking of you and decided to sit down at this monster but I find that I

have little to say that I already haven't. Oh, I did want to ask you about

your story about your Dad. It was very moving and touching and so glad you

have such great memories, even though the experience convinced him he only

wanted sons. I'm sure he changed his mind when you arrived!

You told of some of his horrid experiences but did not mention how he ended

up at the vets hospital??? Is he an amputee? I know you said that you would

spare the gore, but I can take it , honestly. Just wanted to fit the end of

the story with what you had told me.

 

Think'n of you and look forward to more. later....

 

Love,

Connie

 

Email from Max to Connie:  

 

Fri 3/21/03 5:59 PM

 

Hey girl,

 

Well, just to be optimistic, maybe they'll figure out how to use somebody else's bone marrow safely for you. You can have some of mine. As far as I know, I still have lots.

 

Scott is 30 uh... something... let's see born in September of 1968 uh...  68 from 03 is uh... 35, I think.

 

Scott was a good kid but dad wasn't such a good dad. I was too young and immature to be a parent. As the oldest of 7 with lots of babysittin' duty under my belt, I thought it would be real easy. Unfortunately, being an older brother, responsible only in short spurts, only made it seem easy cause Mom and Dad still did all the hard parts.  At 21, I assumed I could do what my dad did and left most of the childcare stuff up to Kerri who, although she tried very hard, was even less prepared for parenthood than I was.  It didn't help that when young, through no fault of his own, Scott was a real, non stop, in constant motion, handful. He left home a couple of times after he got out of High School but his latest return has been for almost three years. He has a girlfriend now and thinks that he will be moving out again soon. We'll see...

 

Although it has taken longer for Scott to grow up than for us, his mom and dad, we did have a second chance to do it better. Kerri had serious medical problems at Scott's birth and we were told that she probably couldn't have any more kids. When Scott was 16, she was concerned that two weeks worth of flu symptoms was a little too much so she went to a Doctor... surprise, surprise...

 

After you and then Kerri, from the moment she was born, Kylene was the third girl I fell in love with. I sure have been a lucky guy. Fortunately, as I may have said on the phone, until about the time she became a teenager, Ky was an angel. And, although I was pretty apprehensive about doing it a again after 16 years and even though we've had some rough spots, the second time around as a parent has been great and I think that I've been a lot better at it. Of course, the next step is grandparenthood and, as good as my Kylene experience has been, I'm not really sure I'll ever be ready for it. Probably won't have any choice...

 

We haven't done any camping in years. It's still great to get out into the woods or desert occasionally but, with all the demands of just trying to keep up with day-to-day stuff, it seems that we just can't find the time. Of course, there's always the down side. I walked through the woods of Michigan with my brother last summer and spent three weeks after that trying to get rid of the poison ivy on my foot...

 

Our dogs are totally undisciplined. Let them out and they're gone. Can't talk the girls into training them... don't want to do it myself, don't wanna talk about it ;-)

 

I have very mixed feelings about the troubles in the world today but that sorta gets into politics and, despite my interest, I don't want to rub anybody the wrong way so, any more, mostly I just shut up and listen. I have a nephew who just last year joined the Marine Reserves and has already been called up. He may be on his way. I'm not too happy about that, of course.

 

Rambling is good... Now I know I can ramble on incoherently and you'll understand perfectly...

 

It's almost 6 and I've stayed at work way too long... If I don't hear from you at maxbishop@gowebway.com, you do your best to have a great weekend...

 

Thanks for the good, good letter,

Love... Max

 

Email from Max to Connie:

 

Mon 3/24/03 5:35 PM

 

Hello again,

 

Whenever you run out of things to say, just go back to Bolivia or Beirut and tell me about some of the many interesting experiences that you must have had there. If your fingers hurt too much to type a lot, just a few lines about your memorable impressions will do just fine... OK?  Also, the other day on the phone you also said that, on the anniversary of your divorce, you were feeling kind of angry... I don't know if you wanted to, but I didn't give you a chance to express how you were feeling so, any time you feel like just venting... I'll be here to listen. Sometimes it just helps to let it all out.  Like, I've been waiting more than thirty years to talk to you and you can't believe how much better I feel and can't thank you enough for just being there ;-)

 

About my dad's WW2 experiences... Shortly after his capture, Dad was held in a third floor room in a French prison with a barred window that faced a courtyard. Almost every day, sometimes more than once a day, soldiers would march out into the courtyard with a prisoner and put him against the wall just below Dad's window. He couldn't see the prisoner but he could see the German soldiers as they lined up side-by-side facing the wall below him to shoot him. For a while Dad had a roommate who spoke another language that Dad didn't understand. There was only one bed so they had to take turns sleeping on the table and on the bed. Although the table was less comfortable, that was OK because the mattress on the bed was full of bugs. One day his roommate left and never returned. While he was at that prison, Dad was never sure whether or not he would be the next one against the wall.

 

After the D Day invasion when the Allies began advancing into France, the Germans decided to move all prisoners away from the front lines a began a forced march of about 8,000 to 10,000 Prisoners of War (POWs) to concentration camps in Poland. After they got to Poland , the Russians began to advance on the Germans again so they were forced again to march to Germany . During the march to Germany, the POWs were guarded and herded by regular German Army soldiers and, other than not enough food, they weren't treated too badly. Once they got into Germany though, young, indoctrinated SS troops took over and if a POW got too sick to move quickly or fell down, he would be shot on the spot. Fortunately, although he lost 70 lbs in the process (one reason for his long hospital stay), for the sake of my future he made it through OK and, for the most part, has had a pretty good life.

 

Also, for your reading pleasure (and I hope no reading pain), there's more of my Utah State adventure at the end of this:

 

After High School: 24 March 2003

 

Off to college: (continued from previous email)

 

 

…In addition, the Mormon culture was a bit of a shock and our social lives were the pits. I'll give you an example.

 

On Halloween we were looking for something to do and decided to go to an advertised Halloween dance at the Stake House on campus. We didn't know what the Stake House was but, hey, a party is a party so,. in an effort to look somewhat costumed for the occasion, we blacked our faces and dressed down to look like bums.

 

The ticket seller for the dance sat at table on the sidewalk at the entrance to the Stake House and when we pulled out our money he kind of looked at us funny and may have said something like "Are you sure?". We should have asked "Why not?" but he took our money anyway and we went in.

 

Well, if this was a Halloween Dance, the whole room looked like it was filled with Penguins and Princesses cause everyone was dressed in suits and gowns. We stood there for a few minutes until it was obvious that many people had turned their heads our way with strange or amused looks on their faces. We left quickly. We were hoping to at least get our money back but the money taker out front had conveniently disappeared.

 

The first quarter ended just before Christmas and Mike had the money for a trip home but I didn't so I was alone for the two or three weeks between the first and second quarters.  I still didn't know anyone yet so it was a pretty lonely time for me.  I was invited to the landlord's Christmas party, which was interesting.  They were either non Mormons or Jack Mormons so I had a little too much to drink. I accepted an invitation to com e next door by a pretty girl who was a tenant in an upstairs apartment also owned by my landlord.  It turned out that she was really a pretty "lady of the evening" and when she found out that I was just another college student with no money, she politely led me back to the party and went on her way looking for other prospects (I assume).

 

One night I went to the downtown theater to see "The Pink Panther" and on my walk home, since it was almost a mile, I was glad to accept a ride from a guy driving a nice new Chevy. I'd done a lot of hitchhiking in Michigan and it was pretty cold so I didn't think twice about getting in the car with him until he asked me if I was interested in "fooling around" (he may have been a little more graphic than that).  I suspect I told him in some way that I wasn't interested in that sort of thing and asked him to drop me off at the next corner and he did.

 

Not too long after that, armed with a couple of checks that I got in the mail for my tuition, room and board, along with a naïve hope to get a part time job, on whim, I offered to buy a nice blue 1936 Ford that my landlord had for sale for $200.  I didn't have enough to give him the whole $200 so when I handed the landlord $100 and an IOU, he let me take the car until I could com e up with the other $100.

A dumb thing to do but hey, it's a kids job to do dumb things, right?

 

When Mike got back, I think he was a little shocked and surprised that, considering our previous financial straights, I would spend my money on a car but I also think he liked the car so he didn't say much.

 

The second quarter saw a little improvement in my social life when I met a girl but was that was the start of a down hill academic slide. Socially, Mike's didn't do as well but managed to keep his grades up.

 

Without the extra $100 that I spent on the old car money, though and no job opportunities to fill the gap, things got pretty tight. Mike kept bugging me to ask my folks for money from home but I was to embarrassed or ashamed to do that so we began to run out of food. We ended up by eating macaroni without cheese, salad without dressing, and as many untasty staples as we could afford. It wasn't enough and we got desperate.

 

Thus began my life of crime

 

The food store we shopped used stick-on labels to price their goods. So, when no one was looking we would switch labels on the cans of stuff we wanted to buy. Like taking the 29 cent label off a can of corn and putting it on the 49 cent can of tuna. I think we only did it a few times but I still feel lucky that we weren't caught.

 

Another occasion where an opportunity for crime reared it's ugly head was when, at the Laundromat, one of us noticed that the big glass ball that held the gum in the bubble gum machine was loose and when we wiggled it, the ball came off and a lot of the gumballs fell out on the floor. Of course, we didn't want to put all of that dirty gum back (too, unsanitary... some poor little kid might get sick) so we dumped them (along with the pennies) into one of our laundry bags and took them home.

 

Later, at that same Laundromat, we discovered that, although we had enough quarters for the wash, we didn't have enough dimes for the drier. We did have lots of pennies from that gumball machine though so, while the washer was going, we sat on the floor and, by rubbing them on a rough cement pad under the washers, ground enough pennies down to dime size so that we could finish our laundry.

 

Fortunately, our money for the next semester eventually came and, since I didn't have the extra $100 to finish paying for the 36 Ford, the landlord was willing to accept a deal to take car back and keep my $100 for the last month or two of rent.  That mostly ended our desperation and along with it, my petty criminal career. The only consequence was a lifetime of petty guilt.

 

Anyway, to go back to the beginning of the second Quarter, somewhere about that time, I met a girl. To protect the innocent, I'll change her name to "Linda". Well, actually I should change my name to protect the guilty at the start of a life of debauchery and sin... maybe I'll call myself "John"...

 

OK, I know, it's too late in the story for that... I guess I'll still be Max and accept the consequences.

 

Anyway again, lots of high school girls would com e to the few dances that were held in the College Student Union building and I met "Linda" there. She was 16 and a Jr. at Cache Valley High. I learned a lot about life and a little about Mormons from "Linda" and her family. Not allowed to smoke or drink (even Colas) or party hard, about the only fun thing left for Mormon teens was dancing and sex and even the dancing was as limited as possible. A clue to the acceptability of sex as entertainment for Mormons was a marriage age in Utah (at the time) of 15 for boys and 13 for girls. Not too long after we met, I learned that "Linda's" 15 year old brother (I don't remember so let's call him Ted) was about to be married to his pregnant 14 year old girlfriend. "Linda's" parents seemed happy to fix up Ted's room so that his new bride could move in and live with them while they waited for the "blessed event". Ted was still attending High School and had a job as an usher at the local movie theater. I didn't envy his situation at all but I did envy him for his real cool '51 Mercury sedan.

 

I didn't suspect their motives to convert me at first but "Linda's" parents were very nice and invited me to com e over any time. Although a prohibited activity, like teenagers everywhere, most of the kids did there best to get someone to find booze for them. "Linda" liked Sloe Gin so, if I could talk one of our "over 21" neighbors into it, I was often able to buy a bottle for our dates. This actually wasn't as bad as it sounds to me now.  With her many friends, the bottle usually got passed around so much that nobody ever got drunk.

 

A bottle Sloe Gin even saved my buns one night. "Linda" and I were standing alone in the parking lot at a local high school dance one evening when a group of guys that "Linda" knew gathered around us to talk. When they found out that I was a Utah State student, someone decided that it would be fun to beat the crap out of a college kid.  It is doubtful that I would have survived without severe bruises and contusions had "Linda" not sweet talked the biggest guy into trading my escape for half a bottle liquor. "Linda" was a pretty smart gal and also very passionate. We spent much of our time together "making out" whenever and wherever we were.

 

Now might be a fun time to digress a little and talk about what I remember of making out with you... shall I... or might that be too scary?

 

To be continued...

 

Love,   

Max

Email from Connie to Max:  

-----Original Message-----
From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2003 9:21 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Enough suspense....

Hey There!

Ok twice now you have written great stuff about everybody you could remember in high school except for one, yo! I don't want to pry or make you uncomfortable but I can't stand it now.  On your "list" you skipped my name and promised to come back to it... Now you refer to our romance or what we tried to make into a romance and you stopped there too. Please tell me what you have thought and what you’re thinking ... PorFavor.

It was supposedly two beautiful spring days these past two but I missed them both by sleeping through them. I have got to get out of this trap. My joints are really hurting and rather than work through the pain, its more comfortable to sleep. Guess I'll call the doc this week. Also my blood sugars are way off… 24 to 50, makes me real weird. Time to get it together or die. The last is not an option I want yet. 

Don't worry or fret over all this, I'm just venting before I go crazier than I already am.

Tonight I got into some boxes from Tucson and found all my old school pictures, report card, projects, etc. By the way, thank you so much for the picture of my sister Kerrie!!!  Is it my romantic imagination or does /did she resemble me:?? Cool.! I still can't find the scrapbook but the next time someone comes over I'll ask them to take me downstairs again.  Good thing I had someone with me today because I'd still be down there if I'd gone by myself.  Had a real strong insulin reaction and blanked out for a short while. Got treatment right away and am ok now. Had I been alone, there was nothing to eat down there.

Nuf of this... got to let the dogs out and change my attitude.

Keep all your news and good stuff coming I'm truly enjoying all of it.

Take care,

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Wed 3/26/03 12:40 PM

 

Finally...

 

I'm sorry I didn't finish the story about you that I started. Although much of it may be just lingering impressions tempered by time, and I know you have read most of it before, here it is again with as much detail added as I can remember.

 

As I mentioned before, I don't remember exactly when or where we met at school, or how, but the memories that I have of you, are some of the most vivid and precious of my life.  Like friendly ghosts, I expect and hope that they will continue to haunt me until I am past this life and ready to do some haunting of my own.

 

It wasn't love at first sight but I'm sure I was attracted to you from the first time I saw you.  The first thing I remember though is what I think was our first "date".  You were possibly only 14 (or 15?) at the time and weren't allowed to go out alone with me yet so we must have agreed to meet at a dance in the Sanford Elementary Gym. It may have been a Valentine's Day dance in 1963.

 

It was snowing and very cold that night and the roads were slippery.  I was a little nervous about driving my dad's '58 Ford station wagon in such bad weather.  I got there before you did and watched you and a friend (Cheryl Walters maybe) walk up the sidewalk after someone dropped you off. I'm pretty sure I tried to be near you most of the time we were there and to dance every slow dance with you.  Some of the couples were kissing while they danced so, when the adults weren't looking so did we.  Up until then, I think most of my kisses were with my mouth closed. I'm wondering if our kisses may have been one of my first attempts at "French" kissing. I don't have any idea how well I did but my memory is that, public or not, French or not, they sure felt good.

 

The feelings I had for you were all very new to me.  You were beautiful, you smelled good, you tasted good and holding you and touching you felt better than anything I had ever done in my whole young life.  Again, as I said before, it seems that there are just so many first times that we are allowed in our lives and my first time with you was one of the best that could ever have been.

 

On the down side, I also remember trying hard not to step on your feet and that I was feeling as awkward at kissing as I was at dancing. Up to that point in my life, I don't think that had the guts yet to do any fast dancing. I think lots of other boys had the same problem then and I remember many of the girls used to dance the fast dances with each other. You may have done that or just sat out the fast dances with me or your friends. I'm not sure. I do vaguely remember a fear that you might dance with someone else besides me. I also remember going to get us a drink, considering the times, probably Kool Aid, and being nervous about having trouble finding you when I returned.

 

I'm probably wrong but I remember a red dress and maybe red shoes (the ones I may have stepped on ;-).

 

At the end of the dance, I was as high as kite as I watched you and your friend run up the sidewalk to the car when you left and couldn't wait to see you again at school. From that time on, even when I was with someone else, I was in love with you.  Whenever I looked at or thought of you or whenever you looked at me with those big, beautiful eyes, my heart would pound, my palms would sweat and I would almost com pletely lose my ability to speak or think coherently.

 

Of the music that was played that night, one of the songs was Gene Pitney's Half Heaven, Half Heartache and, for some reason, it stuck in my head. Curiously, and unfortunately for me, as time went on, the words to that song turned out to be much too prophetic of our relationship.

 

Until you got the OK to date, I think we sometimes met at games and after-game dances and in the hallways at school.  I suspect that I was too tongue tied to talk most of the time, and you probably didn't notice but I would go out of my way to look for or be near you whenever I could.

 

I think that the first time that we went out alone together was when I asked you to go to a drive-in movie. I waited until the night of our date before I ask my dad to borrow the car and he said no! Begging and pleading with him didn't work so, out of desperation, I asked my best friend Mike Kauppi's dad if I could borrow his Volkswagen and, luckily for me, he said yes.

 

At the drive-in, I know I tried to pay a lot more attention to you than to the movie and I don't know why I remember that the name of it was "The Seven Faces of Doctor Lao" but I do. 

 

The memories I have of my clumsy efforts to make out with you make me smile today but, at the time, I sure wished that I was a lot further along on the learning curve. At the time, as with most boys I suspect, much of my knowledge of romance was what I saw in the movies or what I overheard in locker room type conversations. Movies of the time didn't go very far beyond kissing and hints of more but, as you might expect, the locker room talk included a lot about fondling breasts and seeing them naked. Anything more than that was assumed to be just bragging. All of this talk, I'm sure, on the assumption that, if they liked you enough, that's what girls liked and wanted. It is doubtful that any of the guys I knew ever stopped to actually ask a girl about what she wanted most. I know I didn't. Anyway, as far as I can recollect, that was mentally where I was at that point in time.

 

Emotionally, it was all about passion and you. I had no other motives except to make you feel good and to like me more so I just acted and reacted, guessing and hoping all the way that I was doing the right things.

 

By the time I dropped you off at home that night, I found the courage to ask if you would go to the Junior/Senior Prom with me and was awful disappointed when you said that your dad had given you the choice of this date with me or the Prom but not both.

 

 

It is jumping ahead a little bit but this is what you wrote in my yearbook in the spring of '64.

 

 

Max,

No matter what you may think I feel,

I'll always think of you as a dear friend

and one who shared many good times

with me. Always remember those good

times. I wish you the best of luck when

you enter the "outer world" and may you

find the right girl some day.

 

Love you always,

Connie

 

P.S.

I'll never forget

the valuable

lesson you taught me.

Thank you,

I needed to learn it

sooner or later.

 

 

I wish there'd never been a reason for the Post Script on this yearbook farewell. There is absolutely no excuse for slapping you and was what I consider to be the most shameful thing that I have ever done.

 

It's sad for me to consider but, in hindsight, I'm sure that I wasn't smart or mature enough to have sustained our relationship much past high school anyway but my heart still aches when I think about what I did to drive us apart so soon.

 

There is absolutely no excuse for treating you the way I did but the events that led up to it made that night one of the most emotional and distressful of my young life.

 

I think the night it happened was at a dance in the cafeteria. It may have been after a basketball game but I'm not sure.

 

You were there with your friends and I went by myself and, knowing how strongly I felt about you at the time, I probably tried to spend most of my time close to or dancing with you if I could.  I think I was doing OK at first, until I offended you while we were dancing.  I don't know if you remember what I did but I do.  I didn't understand the effect it had on you and must have been frustrated that you wouldn't have anything to do with me afterwards so I tried to get Bob Davids to leave with me and go cruising. Bob's mom wouldn't let him go so I stayed at the dance.  I should have left anyway.

 

A little later on, Carol Heppner came in upset and crying because while trying to break off with one of the Varner's (Don, I think), who was harassing her and wouldn't leave her alone.  I was a little too charged up and, when her distress got to me, I headed out to the parking lot to confront Don.  Although he was a head taller and probably outweighed me by 30 or 40 pounds, I stopped him in the hallway on his way into the cafeteria and told him something like "If you want to bother Carol, you'll have to go through me and though you can probably beat the crap out of me, I'm going to hurt you as much as I can in the process!"

 

Luckily for me, he stopped and didn't call my bluff.  I don't think I've ever been so brave (or stupid) since but fear and anxiety caused by that little episode probably didn't do me any good.

 

I don't remember what happened from that time until the end of the dance except that I must have been so emotionally ripped up that on my way out, I walked up and slapped you. 

 

I knew instantly that I had done a terrible thing. 

 

When you caught up to me outside on the sidewalk and slapped me back I only wished that you could have been big and strong enough and hit me hard enough knock me out of my misery for being such an ass.

 

I stayed up all night that night and wrote a long letter to you in an attempt to apologize and tell you how I felt.  There was no way at the time that I could verbalize those feelings so I drove to your house to let you read what I wrote instead,  When I got there, your mother cleaned off the table and I sat across from you while you read it.  I don't remember what was said after you finished.  I only know that I left as unhappily as I came.

 

For quite awhile after that, I felt so much guilt that every time I saw you, I just wanted to turn a walk away.  Most of what I did after at least some of the guilt was gone was watch you from a distance.

 

We did go out again sometime after that and, although I remember some of the details about when we went parking, I don't remember what else we did that night or why we never went out again.

 

I'm sure you didn't know but it always hurt a little to see you with someone else.  I remember that for a little while, you were going with Dave Schneider.  You also spent some time dating Bob Pyle and, for some unfathomable reason, I have a clear memory of your looking back at me when I walked by while you were sitting in the bleachers with Bob at lunchtime.

 

I remember a party at Leslie Wetherall's house on a cold winter night when you and a girlfriend skated across the lake to get there.

 

One summer night I was driving around Sanford looking to find someone I knew when I saw a new girl that I'd seen at school and asked her if she'd like to go with me to a dance at the fairgrounds. We went back to her house and, after a long conversation with her dad, he said yes and we went.  Although the girl was very cute and seemed to be awful affectionate for a first date, when we got to the fairgrounds, you were there with some friends.  The girl I was with kept asking if we could leave soon but that's all I could think about was what you were up to so I wanted to stay.  We finally left because she had to be home by 11 but it wasn't until she dropped me off that I learned why she wanted to leave the dance early.   It turned out that she had just turned 15 and I was her first date.  Instead of going to the dance, what she really wanted to do is go out and park!

 

On another summer night at Francis Grove there was a DJ who started a dance contest.  I think that I may have started the contest with you but you dropped out and I finished the dance with someone else (I don't remember who she was).  I'm pretty sure Clay Maxwell and his date won the contest.

 

The summer after I got back from school at Utah State, I remember seeing you ride through McDonalds with a guy that I didn't know.

 

Our last time together was when I came home on leave from the Air Force sometime in the summer of '66.  I went alone to a dance at the City Forest and you were there with some girl friends.  You accepted when I asked and we talked a little while we danced.  I don't know why I remember it but you laughed at something I said when you asked what I had been doing.  You went back to your friends and though I waited to ask you again to dance, you left with your friends and I never saw you again.

 

Our last contact was when I wrote to you sometime in the fall of 1967 and you sent a nice reply.  You were at Michigan State and told me about a big snowstorm that just about closed everything down in Lansing.  The letter is long gone and I don't remember anything else about what you said.

 

Max Bishop

Email from Max to Connie:

Wed 3/26/03 12:58 PM

 

Hi,

 

I started to reply to your last email and, half way through, hit the "Send" button instead of the "Save" button. I tried to recall it but, if you got the unfinished note anyway, I just wanted to let you know that there is more to come...

 

Love...

Max

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Wednesday, March 26, 2003 6:03 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: ok, I think I see...  

Hey there!

I'm truly confusing myself, running into and out of drafts, sentiments, etc. I started a note and then lost it when I accidentally changed the screen so if you get the half written one, forgive me. Now what did it say?...

 

I think I was rambling about the pictures I reviewed last night. My mother’s graduation picture is almost an exact to mine...very eerie...then I found both of our nursing graduation pictures...eerier still... Found all my report cards… every "8th hour" detention was for "talking", can you just imagine that?? Had a Bad Attitude remark from Mrs. Blackstock, the typing teacher.  I was shocked then I remembered that she actively flirted with Clay, whom I was dating then, I guessed it sparked com petition in me. I think every senior boy took typing that year!!

 

How is my sister Kerri? I can't get over the resemblance...I later found and 1968 pic of me and they are even more similar.  Oh Max, what have you done? Any response from Kerri about your trip out this way? Hope you can work something out...bring her along, I would love to meet her. I would try not to bore her with our common reminiscences.

 

Today is a 2 splint day and they are hurting at the moment...although I did learn that one can still type with 2 splints on the hands!!!

Tell me more, tell me more....  

Love,

Connie the Bubble Babe

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2003 11:52 AM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: another day....  

Hey There!

Thanx for the picture, Scott gets cuter and cuter and you and Kerrie look tired and more tired...is that how it goes with little ones????  Just joking, great to see how you are progressing toward now. Adorable!!!!

 

Went through more pictures last nite and had a great time remembering all of my escapades.  In Bolivia, our transportation was a Jawa Motorcycle which sounded like a sewing machine when riding down the road. The bike was made in Czechoslovakia .... I didn’t think anything was ever exported from Czech. But dear ole Bolivia had a trade agreement! The bike was small but so were we so we eventually got to where we were going. These pictures are of one trip we took with a bunch of student boys and a friend of our roommate, Randy. We really look like a gang of no-goods up to no good!! We rode up to the peaks of a part of the Andes and reached the top (el coumbre) and got beautiful pictures of it...really breath taking even now. Then we rode down the other side into the tropical jungle...plant life every where.... afraid I would get tangled up in my sleep… it seemed to grow that fast.  Funny shots of all of us waking up from a night of too much cerveza... was not a good picture, even while it was being taken! Funny now, though.

 

The next set of pictures I found was in the Jordanian desert. Another couple from the Beirut school and us ventured down to Jordan for a break. These shots are of the four of us riding camels... Not Comfortable!!!  We had two Bedouin tribesmen who escorted us.  Way out in the middle of nowhere they stopped and ordered us off the camels. (they spoke no English so it called for very creative charades). We were very uneasy getting down, not sure why...maybe wanted to do us harm??? So like any adventurer we got down! As it turned out they wanted to rest the camels and fix tea for us. Oh No! They had brought their tea leaves and wood to make the fire. To watch them make the tea was not appetizing, with his filthy camel dirt hands. They were smiling constantly at us I guess to reassure us that they were friendly but strangely, we felt even more uneasy.  It is proper etiquette to graciously accept any libation or food offered to one. To not accept is a real no-no and can cause a lot of dis com fort. So we each took a drink out of the cup (very grimy) smiled and gladly passed it on... ugh! But we must have pulled it off well because they became even friendlier. They introduced me to my camel named Honeymoon, with very suggestive tones of voice and antics, extremely uncomfortable for me...and where is my macho husband ?, over at campfire getting himself in trouble with the other guys dagger! Larry was always oblivious to the "situations" I would find myself in. Very aggravating. Always had to get myself out of trouble... More later on our kidnapping and robbery...

 

Then over to the dagger. this guy's weapon was a silver jagged 6+ inch knife. Larry being the naive and curious guy that he is, reached over to look at it. That guy had that knife out of that holster and over Larry's head in a fracture of a second! Larry was as pale as the sand and then the guy realized his natural reaction and softened his glare and explained clearly even without English, One never ever touches another man's weapon unless he wants to fight to the death.  I think Larry's comment to the whole thing was, "Oh Shit!!!!" Funny now but then... !

 

So then I rode Honeymoon back but he made us stay at the rear of the group and that didn’t sit well with me either...When I see the picture I now no why. A rifle of some kind was stuck into the side-bag of my camel... sure looks strange and in today’s environment it's crazy to even think of such an adventure. Whew!! 

 

Nuf for now, just traveling down my path to remember real strange stuff.

 

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

From: Bishop, Max
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2003 1:18 PM
To: 'Connie'
Subject: RE: ok,ithink i see...  

Hi again,

2 splint day? OK, why do you need Popsicle sticks on your fingers and how long do you need to wear them? Do you wear them to reduce the pain or do you wear them for some other reason and wearing them causes pain? Just curious... the first joints on my little fingers are growing bumps and hurt occasionally. I may soon need medical advice from a real expert ;-(  

I'm glad you were finally able to get downstairs for a trip down memory lane. Kinda fun, huh? With time so tight for real road trips over the last few years, I've found that a review of an old photo or some bit of memorabilia has taken me places into the past that are just as pleasant to visit as an auto or plane trip today.  

I've been lucky to get a little help on my trips to way-back when. My mom has been the repository of almost all of our old family photos other stuff and has kept them safe from harm. A couple of years ago, when I got a scanner for my PC, I was able to start copying a lot of the old photos and letters and stuff so I could assemble and store them in com puter files. I am currently trying to put as much as I can in chronological order. The pictures and stories that I've sent to you are some of the first ones that I have put in sequence so far.  

Of course, that's OK for me but since yours are still probably in boxes and drawers and such, in order for me to take a trip or two down your memory lane, I'll probably have to be there, huh? I hope you got lots of pictures, especially with you travelin' around the world. Did you say that you went to Japan ?

By the way, I may have mentioned it but, at the last reunion, some girl had a couple of handfuls of pictures from a previous reunion that included you (too many people watching or I might have snitched one). Do you remember what year that was?  

In '64 when I was a senior, only a few boys were taking typing but I'm not surprised that Mrs. Blackstone attracted many more in the next year or two. I regret not taking her class. Not so much for her looks (she was too tall for me anyway) but because nobody told me at the time that I might be spending half of every workday tapping a keyboard. I'm sure that the learning curve was a lot steeper at age 46 than it would have been at 16. As for your 8th hours for talking, its funny, but I never imagined that you would ever be in trouble for anything at school, especially "bad attitude". Must have been after I left, huh?  

Kerri is good... but I have yet to find the right time or place to talk to her about you again. I never thought about your looking alike but I don't think it was a conscious choice at the time. Just good luck, I think. Actually, I knew I liked how you looked but since most of the pictures that I have of you in the yearbook are posed, until I saw the candid photos of you at the reunion, I really didn't remember how very pretty I thought you were. Most of my memories are more impressions than visual recall. I really had a lot of trouble recognizing faces at the class reunion until someone attached a name to it.  

Oh, and bringing Kerri along could carry some serious risks for me. Not too long after you started asking her questions about what is has been like to live with me for more than thirty years, I'm afraid you'd be wiping your hand across your brow and saying something like, "Whew... I sure am glad I dodged that bullet!!!"  

Later love...

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2003 7:33 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: nagging paij , the way it is  

Hey There!

My popsicle stix are really forearm splints to rest the wrist joints and to keep my fingers in an anatomically correct position. They really do lessen the pain but then the muscles get lazy so I can't overdo with them. Balance, balance, balance,  blah, blah, blah.!

 

It was quite interesting to read the filler details of our dates.... I'm very embarrassed as to how bold got with you. Good thing the other car pulled up or I could have really had a bad rep.  By the way, do you recall what my rep might have been among our peers? Just curious. I had no real concept of myself at that time...as must be true with most teenagers?  You were known as a really nice and sweet guy, shy but easy to talk to...and they were right. By the way the ole girls are still hanging in there.... and I do mean hanging!!  Oh my gosh I can't believe I said that. Ha!

 

You asked me about my reactions to our encounters...I have to say that I must have put them into my denial closet because I can't remember a lot. I'm truly surprised about my behavior of undressing, I can only suppose I felt so warm and safe with you that it was a safe thing to do, not cheesy or slutty. The reason I don't remember it all that clearly is I was so embarrassed and felt guilty about my behavior I filed it away. I'm sorry. I will say that I am having reactions now...wow! If only to relive all those wonderful sensations and deep seeded feelings! I am getting a rush thinking about it all and wondering why things couldn't have worked out a little bit better. I do recall dancing in your warm strong arms that were wrapped around me making me feel safe and cuddling into your neck and shoulder wishing the dance would never end. What a nice place to be!! 

 

Sexually, I was really confused, as you well know. But I can only say that you must have really struck a chord with me to be come so comfortable to override my defenses that were really strong and entrenched into automatic pilot. The sad part is that eventually they did kick in and I denied myself the luxury to remember and to relive them on my own.  That is sad for me.

 

By the way, back to pictures...I was showing my pal Sandi the comparison between Kerri and myself, which she agreed were strangely similar, but she asked to see your picture and she immediately shouted, "That's Larry !". He was my first husband. He did look very similar to you and was 5'6" or so, and very many similar characteristics. How sweet it was!! Most of my family believed Larry was CIA because everywhere he went there was always some kind of turmoil going on. More later on that. I just thought it is interesting that I was drawn to marry a guy that resembled you, therefore it is a given that I thought a whole lot of good things about you.

 

Please get back to me when you can, your letters are a real bright spot in my day.

 

Love, 

Connie   

Email from Max to Connie:  

Fri 3/28/03 7:17 AM

 

Wow... great stories... can't wait to see the pictures... ;-)

 

Later babe,

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:

Fri 3/28/03 3:32 PM

 

Constance Lee (he scolds),

 

Please, please, please do your best to never be embarrassed about the things you did as a kid, especially the things you did with me (or any other boy, for that matter). Personally, not only did you make my nights when we were together, as you may be able to tell from my remembrances, you made my life. How can that be bad? By the way, if I may say something as well about the ole girls... nice nipples! (Sorry, there's a snapshot in my head. Must have been the headlights from that car!)

 

As far as your reputation in school goes, I have no memory of ever hearing anyone saying anything bad about you. As far as you and me and your reputation, even if we had been together long enough and you felt comfortable enough to go "all the way" with me, no one would have ever known but you and me. I'm glad I've had the chance to talk to you about it again and share my feelings but I've never told anyone about my experiences with you but you. Kerri knows we dated but that's about it. Of course, times have changed and today, if I told someone that you are a "Hot Chick", you might even feel good about it ;-)  (I hope!)

 

It could be that I may have had an uncommon attitude about bad reputations. Back then, guys seemed to work hard at getting a reputation and girls had to work even harder to avoid one. I doubt that there's anything I could have done about the loose talkers at the time except keep my own mouth shut, but it was wrong. To me, although there were a few bad guys, there were no "bad" girls. Although, with a 17 year old daughter at home,  I'm experiencing a little "cognitive dissonance" in making such a statement, for the most part girls had (and have) the same urges as guys and should never, ever have been condemned for acting on those urges any more than we condemned the same actions in guys. The problem is that it was the girl who always had to accept the consequences of something going wrong and that those consequences would affect her whole life.

 

I was always bothered when some guy, without thinking of the possible results, would brag about something that a girl did with him a date and risk both her feelings and his chances to be with her again if the news ever got around. Made no sense to me. It also used to bother me that girls would have to drop out of school when they got pregnant. As the oldest of 7, my mom was almost always pregnant when I was growing up and that never stopped her from doing anything so I never understood why people made it so difficult for a pregnant girl to finish school.

 

As an example, having known her since 7th grade, I always liked Connie Hullett and she was often overtly sexy. One day in early '64 while we were dancing at lunch she whispered something in my ear like "Maxie, you are such a cute boy! I guess some night I'm just going to have to take you out and make a man out of ya!". I was speechless and never got a chance to take her up on her offer but for obvious reasons, it's a line I never forgot. The double standard is that I see no reason why she shouldn't have said it, if that's the way she felt, because any guy could have said something like it out loud and got away with it.

 

You may not remember, but Connie was pregnant when she graduated and her graduation gown looked like a maternity dress when she walked on the stage. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to tell her until I met her again a couple of years ago, how much I admired her courage for doing such a thing. When she told me the whole story about the resistance she got from the school and from her own parents (they refused even to be there), I realized that it was even more gutsy than I thought. (Almost as gutsy, perhaps, as drinking camel dung tea :-)...

 

Today, Connie is totally unapologetic about her sexiness (Now married to a guy 10 years her Jr. so she'd have someone who could keep up. Her trophy husband, she says.) and only regrets that she wasn't careful enough to avoid having a baby so young. (A son who she dearly loves, by the way)

 

Oops, I think I got a little carried away the sexual politics thing didn't I... enough preaching for now, OK?

 

I do very much want to thank you very much for the "warm strong arms" part. Flattery will get you everywhere. I guess I'm glad I had a surrogate in Larry but I'm not real sure if having a surrogate is nearly as good as being there... Having some Larry envy, I guess...

 

Love to dance with you again but I haven't done any dancing in years. Thinking about it... if not careful, you might even have the same effect you had on me as the last time???

 

Wait a minute though, I'm sorry, I lied. To be honest... I did dance with Letetia Burkhardt for a couple of minutes at the '66 reunion. Unfortunately, she had to lead 'cause it had been so long for me ;-) Now that was embarrassing...

 

Love...til next time...

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:  

Mon 3/31/03 12:04 PM

 

Hi,

 

Kidnapping and robbery??? OK... now I'm the one who's left in suspended animation (well, maybe animated suspension).

 

I made a small commitment....

 

I'll get to Chicago  about 1 and could probably be in Lawton about 4 in the afternoon on April 24th. I'll need to leave Lawton on Saturday, the 26th by about 10 AM to make my flight back to Phoenix . It's an open ended ticket and good for a year so, if you have a change of heart or mind, or I have a schedule problem or if those are just bad days, I can com e later, stay longer (or shorter) or play it by ear...

 

Please let me know how you feel about that and...

 

more life stories... please...

 

Love,

Max   

Email from Connie to Max:   

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Monday, March 31, 2003 7:05 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: another Monday  

Hey There!

What a great idea to come the 24th, I can hardly wait to see you! Is Kerrie coming with you and that is all straight? Do you want me to find someone to drive to Chicago to pick u up? I'm sorry that I can't do it myself... could if medical problems straighten out. But if things are like they are now the drive would wipe me out for the next 3 days. Let me know what you think.

 

Thank you so much for each and every picture you sent. They were terrific and I've permanently decided that the 70's were the worst for men's hair!!! Just think of all the wedding pictures that were bad because of "bad hair days". Sorry Max, but the hair and heavy facial hair made you look very sinister and angry. What's the story behind the "do"?  Your sweet face and eyes were there though!

 

Your daughter Kylene is gorgeous!! No wonder you are a worried sad PaPa. Hopefully you won't be planning her nuptials soon. What a doll she is.

 

You asked about my feelings regarding our moment of passion... well, I can remember the situation and the welling up of real strong, passionate, breathtaking feelings and the brain said 'go ahead" and throwing my conscious to the wind,...

 

but I also can remember the terrific fear and guilt that my dad could have been in that car tracking me down (which was never below his conscience). I remember covering myself up so fast and wanting to be somewhere else. But I must also tell you that it didn't destroy everything about that moment because I can still remember how freeing that single minute felt. And the rumblings throughout my body were a mystery to me ???  What I don't understand is why we didn’t go out anymore? I can't recall what nixed it all was it me? By the way, thanks for the compliment, as risqué as it was, I always thought the ole girls were just freaky.

 

Thanks for the Crawford story, what a riot they must have had. I was really, really freaked out by Connie Williams...I would have liked to have been in the corner listening to the conversation that ensued!! It was fun to read and thanks for sharing with me. If it's ok I think I send him a short note, is it ok if I tell him that you sent the story or not? 

 

Gladly, today is a no splint day and the joints are getting better. Today I had an interesting experience... I learned how to turn off the television. The silence was wonderful and allowed me to get to know what's going on with me. I took the quiet time to find myself and just think. It was very sweet and tender and I liked my own company!  I was totally aware of myself and what I was doing or not doing about taking care of myself and my kids. Soothing.

Must sign off now, waiting for a phone call regarding the sale of the house in Tucson .  Now I'd like to keep it :>).

 

Take care and see you soon.

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:  

Tue 4/1/03 6:27 PM

 

Hi again,

 

No, I haven't told Kerri yet, I just got wild hair (you remember those wild hairs from the pictures, don't you) and did it. Now I have to figure out how to tell her (and buy another ticket, if she decides to go)!  Transportation for me isn't a problem. I've reserved a rental car to get from Chicago to Lawton , around and back.

 

And yes... thinking about my beautiful daughter's future and all of those witless boys (not like me, of course) scares me poopless...

 

The extra hair in the pictures was a contrary thing at first...

 

I wasn't all that interested in a mop like the Beatles but, while in the Air Force in the '60s, I did want a little more leeway about my haircut and shaving than the military would allow. So, in 1970 after I'd been working at my first job for about 5 months as a draftsman, I decided to grow a beard and mustache. On a Friday, about three weeks after I stopped shaving, I was called into my supervisor's office and told that the department head didn't like facial hair and if I hadn't shaved by Monday morning, I'd be fired. When I protested that it wasn't fair and that he couldn't legally do that, I was reminded that, until I had been there for at least 6 months (my probation period), no reason for letting me go was required.

 

Having done a good job, there was no other reason to fire me other than the hair, so my instinct was to quit. Unfortunately, with no savings, a wife and baby at home and no other job prospects, I didn't feel that I had any other choice than to sacrifice my principles, humiliate myself and shave.

 

But... things changed about 6 months later when a draftsman quit and they needed another. The county required a skill test for this drafting job and one of the applicants that did the best was a guy named Ralph Kingery. Unfortunately for the department head, Ralph not only scored higher on the test than anyone else before him, he also had a mustache and goatee. With no way to get around the county employment rules, Ralph had to be hired. Before I decided to try again, I waited to see if they would fire Ralph before he finished his probation but his work was too good and they didn't.

 

...and then to conform.

 

When, in the fall of 1971, I decided to go to college again on the GI Bill, I alternately shaved and grew face hair depending on my mood and let my hair grow longer mostly to fit in (as an old guy in his later 20s) with the other, younger, college crowd. Apparently, the hair barrier had been broken by then because when I went back and worked at my county over the following two summers when school was out there were no problems and, by that time, there were a few others with even more hair than I had. Sorry to make a short story so long.

 

Us... I seem to remember the events pretty clearly, I think because they were first times and so very emotional and physical but the "what came first and what came next" is hard. I remember the time of our movie date because of the name of the movie (and when it came out) and it's proximity to the Junior/Senior Prom when I asked you out and you couldn't go. I'm pretty sure that our parking date would have been while we were still in school because we were in my dad's Corvair van. So it could be that it happened sometime before our falling out. It may have been my perception of your enthusiasm on the night we parked that got me in trouble later on the dance floor. I just don't know...

 

I had hoped that my risqué comment wasn't too risky... Glad you weren't offended but I hesitate to ask why you thought your anatomy was freaky. Of course, I'm a guy and a guy's perspective may not help any to understand such things ;-)

 

Please email Eric. Tell him that you got the story from me and if he has a problem with that to com e to a Arizona and we'll duke it out (Actually, Eric and I have been threatening to visit each other for a long time). Also, though I don't usually pass on other emails unless I am asked (and lots of people ask), in this case, as you can see by the email header, he was sending the story lots of people so I assumed that he was looking for an audience and wouldn't mind. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear from you.

 

I'm very glad that you're feeling better and have had some time to sit and reflect. I enjoy that too whenever I get a chance. My experience has been that we often get too wrapped up in other things and just don't spend enough time taking care of ourselves. Do, please do take care of yourself.

 

Oops, it's late, late...

 

Love

 

Max  

 

Letter from Max to Connie:

2 April 2004

 

Hey girl… How are ya???

 

One thing I like about emails is that you get to keep a copy of what you sent and that there can be a continuous thread of a conversation that happens over time so you can go back over it to either refresh or relive the memories…

 

I have enclosed a copy the handwritten letter that you sent to me. I can honestly say that it was the best letter that I ever got. First, because it was from you and second, because ended that anxiety and anticipation that I had after waiting more than 35 years to get it. I can’t think of the words to express how happy I was to get it and to talk to you again.

 

Hope this finds you well… Sorry so short. I’m at the hanger and have to make some stops on the way so I have to head home. Email or call if you can (480) 201-6553 and I’ll do the same…  

Email from Connie to Max:     

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Wednesday, April 02, 2003 12:26 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: beautiful day  

Hey There!

Finally a pretty day here, about 70 and the flowers are starting to com e up. Tulips , narcisis, and daffodils are leafing and the crocus are blooming, at  last. I have no energy to play out there yet but it sure is nice to look at and to open up the house to the fresh air.

 

How are things with you these days? I'm so excited about the ticket and to see you I can hardly stand it. Any news there? 

 

I haven't sent any note to Eric yet because I need to ask you something else. Is there more to that story about Connie Williams that you may have deleted that you might of thought I would not like? The reason I ask is that all the people cited on the addresses don't know me so there would have to be an explanation as to who he was referring to....so any help here?  I don't want to strike up any conversations if they have negative thoughts about me. Please help.

 

Thanx again for all the pictures, I really enjoyed them. I only wish I knew how to send some too.   When Sandi gets back from AZ I know that she can send them so I'll have her send for me or have her try to set me up to do it. ok? 

wondering how you are?  

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Wed 4/2/03 5:12 PM

 

Hi,

 

No, I didn't change Eric's story at all. I was a puzzled at first about the Connie Williams thing too but, if I remember right, I think the name of the people who owned the Bed and Breakfast that they stayed in were named Williams and, by coincidence, the wife's name was Connie. So, if they really did talk about you and not your namesake, you'll just have to email and Eric and ask him what they said :-)

 

I did ask Eric some time before that if he knew where you were. I think he said that he thought you were in California or Texas somewhere and that you might be seriously disabled from arthritis. I'm pretty sure that he didn't even know that your last name is now Docherty or he might have told me. As you now know, it did take me a long time to find you until I discovered your current last name.

 

As an aside, believe it or not, if you do an Internet search of the name "Connie Williams", there are thousands of you. Although not nearly as many Max's around the country as Connie's, I was even surprised at how many 'Max Bishops" there are.

 

I may also have mentioned that, at the '66 reunion, I also asked Claudia Schrantz if she knew where you were. I think she said that, although you and she spent a lot of time together at her house while growing up (or while in high school, I don't quite remember), she hadn't seen you in a long time. 

 

Weather has been great here. Even made it into the 80's this week. I'm glad to here that spring has finally sprung in Michigan . Snow's OK when you don't see it much, but it can be dangerous and slippery for those of us who are not used to driving in it. I hope it's still gone when I'm there.

 

Things are pretty routine around here right now. My brother Roger just retired from the Post Office and just arrived yesterday to live with my folks in Casa Grande. I usually take my dad down to the Tucson VA hospital every 6 months for his Alzheimer's checkup but this April, Roger will be here to do it. He'll be here for about a month before he heads off on a trip around the country for the rest of the year. He plans to arrive and spend a couple of months in Michigan by sometime in June or July. He's 2 years younger than me and I sure envy his new found freedom.

 

As far as my trip is concerned, no news (until I get there) will be good news.

 

I'll be sending a few more pictures but please do scan some of yours and email them to me if you can. When you sit in front of a com puter most of the day like I do, it's nice to pop up a photo every now and then as pleasant diversion. Actually, the descriptions that you gave of the pictures you found were pretty good. That worked well and you can do that again any time.

 

It's late again and I have to go. Just remember, an email a day keeps the doctor away ;-)

 

Love,

 

 

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Wednesday, April 02, 2003 7:51 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: after thought.....  

Hey There!

Just a note regarding the Gene Pitney Album you talked about at the dance and again somewhere else? Now I remember or realize why his music is so special to me. I get all choked up when I hear it. I can really get into singing it to the dismay of anyone around me!!  It must have been you that made it so special for me. As I recall it wasn't around a long time and I don't recall that he made any more albums that made it big?  How interesting! That was cuddle up close-dancing song.

 

Do you ever hear from Mike Bernier ? He and I were pretty close friends since elementary school. We were the shortest in our classes so were always paired together to do the "Welcome" at every darned play or concert. We both hated it! Then in High school we hung around a lot together and studied a lot together. He's a great guy.

 

Did you get to talk to Clay at the reunion? I often wonder how he is... here's a story:

 

 When we were seniors we were finally a couple and not a 'cat and mouse' match. He asked me to marry and I thought I liked him enough to do that. So we were going to go to MSU together as a married couple until our folks got in on it. To make it short, we agreed to go to school one year and then marry. Well, unfortunately when I hit college and all that freedom I had lots of options to express my deep anger about my life to that point. And as they say, once you've seen the city...  anyway I started meeting a lot of different kinds of people that I had never been exposed to and found it extremely interesting. My roommate freshman year was a big black gal from Cleveland . Well I made friends with her friends and it was the time of Motown. Fannie and Gloria taught me the Boogaloo and all the Motown dances and I was the best white dancer on campus!  They used to refer to me as the "Por' ole white chile' tryin' to be black." Had a lot of fun in our dorm just hangin' out and dancin'. Then came Watts, and Gloria got so caught up in it that one night she threatened me in my sleep over something and I got concerned. I don't quite remember what happened but I think the RA transferred her to another room with black friends.

 

Anyway, back to Clay. He would call to go out and I would but things just didn't feel the same then. It was like a kid in a candy shop wanting to check it all out. After a while, I didn't care to see him anymore so every time he called I was out or too busy. He finally understood and enlisted in the Army, leaving me his draft card as a good bye. Ugh! That was really awful, probably equally. His roommate would call me at least once a week to really ream me out and call me all kinds of nasty things. It was horrible.  As it turned out, on my graduation day I received two dozen yellow roses with no card. I'm sure it was from him, it would be his kind of goodbye and good luck as I was engaged by then.  While Clay was in ' Nam he flew Hughies and crashed saving a com rade and broke his back. His family. I felt he never forgave me for his enlistment. 

 

I've never spoken to Clay at the reunions. Not for not trying though. I would walk up to say hello to him and he would turn away and not speak. It is really sad because after all was said and done, I would probably have gotten back with Clay once the 'glamour' was gone and I'd had my taste of freedom.  So, so, sad what we do in our youthful stupidity.  But then again I may never have hooked up with Clay had our timing had been different.  What is controlling all this?

 

So, back to the question, did you get to talk to Clay and did you guys talk about helicopters???

 

Gotta go...be easy.

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Thu 4/3/03 12:42 PM 

Hi,

 

I still have one Gene Pitney album left but it's a later one that doesn't have "Half Heaven, Half Heartache on it. We do still have a record player but I haven't played it in a while. Don't know if they have Pitney on CDs but I might check the web.

 

Other than his name and face, I didn't remember much from high school about Mike Bernier other than I think his dad was a doctor. Since I got Eric's story with Mike's email address I've emailed him several times with Christmas letters and such. He is now some sort of consultant for one of the car com panies and sounds happy that he is doing well. I last heard from him at Christmas time. I think he lives in Ohio but it must not be too far from Detroit if he has to work with Ford, GM or Chrysler. Why don't you send him an email? I bet he'll be glad to hear from you.

 

I did talk to Clay and we did swap airplane stories. He told me about his crash and the broken back which, aside from occasional problems, is OK now. While he was piloting helicopters, I was riding in the back of them, from Military base to missile silo and back again. He had a plane for a while and flew some after he got out of the Army but hadn't flown in a long time since. I didn't get much time to talk with him because he is still a pretty popular guy and had lots to say to lots of people. He looks real good, lives in Beaverton and still operates the family farm(s). Unfortunately for him at the time, I think I was told that his mom had died not too long before the reunion. His wife is a local gal (though she didn't go to Meridian ) that most people seemed to know but don't remember her name. She is in one of the pictures that I sent on the CD. I used to have Clay's email address but he must have changed or dropped his email provider, because my emails are now "returned to sender".

 

If you'd like, I can get his mailing address and/or phone number and act as a mediator to say "Hi" again one more time. I'm trying to get someone in Michigan to set up an "All 60s" class reunion in 2004 anyway so an invite would give me and excuse to mention to him that "Connie Williams says to say hello." Just a thought...

 

Despite your experience with Clay, it sounds like you did have a pretty good time in college. I can't speak from experience cause, not being a tall, dark and handsome jock, I got none but I suspect the attention that you got from guys who found you as attractive as I did, made you an object of desire and perhaps just like the "Candy" in that Candy shop as well. Just guessing but, with others for you to choose from, it might be understandable that sticking with Clay was hard.

 

My first year at college was interesting but I don't think that I had nearly so much fun (I guess I should go back and finish that story). My last 4 years at school, since I was "married with children" (well... child), were not much different from going back and forth to a low paying job with lots of unpaid overtime.

 

As for what's controlling all this...?  I think, nothing... just the way life is. We make choices and they have consequences. A few good or bad choices along with a little good or bad luck and we can end up as either princes (princesses) or paupers. We can probably control a little ways into the future but there's always that "fickle finger of fate" that we can't do a damned thing about. Looking at the lives of some of the people in third world countries that you visited, I'm probably pretty lucky to have grown up and lived when and where I did. Most of the time I just feel lucky to still be here. (How's that for a Philosophy 101 lesson?)

 

Well... it's past my lunchtime and I should probably go back to work and earn my pay.

 

Later babe...

 

 

Max

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2003 4:23 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: an April winter  

Hey There!

We have 4" on the ground and more to com e until tomorrow p.m.!!  What a slap in the face.....really bad ice storms hit around Muskegon and Grand Rapids , they're in a real pickle...many still without power and lots of trees down. I guess I can be grateful for missing all that stuff.

 

Haven't heard from you for a bit... everything ok?  Thank you so much for the last batch of pictures...they're great.  I enjoyed learning about your discussion with Clay...sounds like he's very happy, and I'm glad for him, If he only knew all the grief he would have had with my physical problems, he would be relieved we never worked things out!!

 

You were right about Mike Bernier , he nearly came through the compuker screen he was so glad to find me again.  Had a nice 'chat' and he sounds very happy and successful too! I had remembered about his children being adopted from his ex wife, they are all grown up now getting ready to make Mike a grandpa!! eewwwwwww.

 

Went out alone today for the first day in a long time, of course it was icy as Alaska !! Got errands run and hopefully a way to re'fi this house so I can keep it without declaring the "Big B". Sam went with me and sounds like he will cooperate with me to join the app. so we can get the loan and then he said he could make at least half of payments...sounds good, of course but he is known not to follow through with his promises so I'm going to have to find a legal way to bind him to his responsibilities or I may end up homeless.. "nuf of that!!

 

Spent the rest of the P.M. sorting out two yrs. worth of taxes...since my com a and all the hospitalizations, I've been afraid of dealing with numbers. At one time I bounced a check and the bank waited 3 weeks to notify and I had $700of penalties. I finally hollered "foul" long enough they at least consented to pay 1/2 of the fee. Now, I hate to even write checks let alone balance anything out. What a big chicken I have be com e. I need to listen to my Grandfather's mantra for me, "Just stay strong, Connie!" hard to do sometimes.

 

So, what's up with your trip? When do you arrive, do I find someone to get to Chicago or do you want your own form to transportation during your stay? Do you need any hotel phone numbers, or what's up?  What has Kerrie said, will she com e or let you com e?  Update, pleez.  

Thank you also for the great bios I really enjoyed them. Roger Suppes is/was living in Kalamazoo, the next biggest town to us. I may try to find him if only to learn about my pal Gary. That stuff really inspires lots of memories and stuff from so long ago....you're special to share all that.

Not much else going on here, the gang should be back from AZ within the week. This is a good thing?!

 

Keep Safe and Hang in There.....

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Mon 4/7/03 5:18 PM

 

Just a quick note...

 

I missed not getting an email from you this morn. Kinda gettin' used to 'em on Mondays. Sorta makes the week start out a little better. I hope you had a good weekend and are feeling well.

 

My weekend was a little slow. Spent most of Saturday with brother Roger at the hanger. Spent the rest of the day and evening watchin' TV or working/playing on the com puter. I sent a Gene Pitney CD to you via Amazon. com . A little yard work and home maintenance on Sunday was followed by a short nap, dinner, a short walk and some TV.

 

Gotta go to the dentist tomorrow morning before work for clean teeth and to start a little bridge repair. Fun, fun, fun... Late again... hafta go...

 

Nighty, night, sleep tight...

 

 

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:

 
From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Tuesday, April 08, 2003 3:49 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Monday delay?

Hey There!

 

I sent a message on Monday, did you receive it?  Probably a delay to Tues. Can't remember what time it was.  Anyway,  sorry for the poor timing.

 

I believe that one had a lot of questions re. trip and details, if it did not get to you let me know..

 

Today is a day identical to a gloomy Feb. day and I hate the whole month of Feb. 

as a norm.  Not a nice day. Say we will get even more snow and ice tonite. They are holding out a carrot tho' as weathermen are wont to do...72 degrees by Fri. Whether I should believe them is up for grabs.

 

Had a shopping-lunch excursi0n with Sandi at 12:30 which I slept through, can't get into a good routine, which I am so trying to do before your visit. I guess I need to warn you that you may have some free time without me in the mornings especially. Maybe you should be prepared for that and please understand it is in no way an avoidance or disinterest thing... I would prefer a 24 hr day while you are here but I'm definitely unable to do that or even any of that. The most important thing of this is please do not take this behavior at any personal level...it is only a part of my health problem that I/we have to deal.  Ok?

 

Sounds like you had a nice, average, quiet, productive weekend... that's good. I am so grateful for your thoughtfulness in sending me the Gene Pitney CD... Wow!

I have been looking at the Philco record player...it has speeds of 33,45, and 75's..Could be a riot.  Have stacks of 33's and 75's from my mother's stuff. But this will make it much easier to get a CD. Thank you, thank you, thank you...soooo much!

 

Let me know how your plans are working out for the trip, OK?

 

Miss you,

 

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:  

Tue 4/8/03 4:57 PM

Great to get your note,

 

Snow for an Arizonan is not good. Although the date might slip if something urgent com es up, the trip is a sure thing but please have Michigan all shoveled off by the time I get there ;-).  

 

I have a rental car arranged and, with the Internet to help with phone numbers and addresses, will find a motel when I get there. I should be in Lawton about 4 PM and will call and warn you when I have arrived. As for Kerri com ing, I don't think she will but... flying to Michigan to see a bunch of old friends was an easy explanation last year. Flying back to see just one girl is a little harder to 'splain. I'm still workin' on that story ;-)

 

I'm glad you got through to Mike. I hope you find Gary Suppes as well. I think Eric would be glad to hear from you too. If you decide to do it, I think you might also enjoy a conversation or two with Marlene Beavers (McDaris) and Sharon Edgars. I haven't heard from Irene Havens (Korvun) in a long time, but you might try her also. I think Irene lives in Milford ? Although I tried a couple of times, I don't think I ever got a response from emails to Claudia. Others I have heard from by email include Jeanne Seelhoff, Carl (Butch) Seelhoff (married to Joanne Boulis), Gary Johnston, Larry Maxwell, Gail Getgood, Linda Hubbard, Becky Horton, Carol Heppner, Judy Fick, Letitia Burkhardt, Darryl Burkhardt, Connie and Diana Hullett, Vaughn Roller, Bob Letts, Sue Hand , Linda Hess, Sue Benjamin, MaryLou Woodruff (Pyle), Bob Pyle, Jim Whitehead and a few others that I don't remember right now.

 

In addition to the emails, last summer I met and talked with Jerry Beebe , Sue Hand and her husband Tom Muto, Velsor Richardson and his wife, Bob Letts and his wife, Ray Mason and wife Janice Fath, Pat Chase (married to Roy Mason), MaryLou and Bob Pyle and some others from my neighborhood that you may or may not know. Bill Mills is still a wild and crazy guy and was camping out in a tent somewhere in Hope but I missed him.

 

I don't know if you remember him or not but I found out from Mary Ann Morse's daughter Lisa, that Danny Morse had died. I called Mary Ann to see how she was doing but her daughter said that she wasn't there and Mary Ann didn't call back. I heard that Bill Borland, Bill Goulette and Mike McCrary are gone as well.

 

Even with the news of lost souls, all in all, it's been a fun trip to the past over the last few years. I'm happiest that I didn't miss you. You hang in there!

 

As I think I mentioned, I've been trying to get somebody to organize an all 60's (class of '64 thru '69) get together in 2004. Unfortunately, if I don't get any news soon that someone has volunteered, I may have to start begging or, as a last resort, offer a bribe.

 

Good luck with your ex on the house. I hope everything works out 'cause homeless in Lawton sounds a lot worse than "sleepless in Seattle ". By the way, since this is the address that I have on Larry Maxwell's reunion list, how did you get to Lawton in the first place and how long have you lived there?

 

Well, it's almost 5 again and I need to get out of here and go home.

 

Later Love...

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Wednesday, April 09, 2003 11:47 AM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Tulip Time (almost)  

Hey There!

At least the sun is bright today and the temp is around 45 (how do you type a degree sign?) and things are melting. At least it is encouraging.  Got a ditty for ya:  

Tulips in the garden, 

Tulips in the park, 

But I like your two lips Better in the dark.    

How's that for a fourteen year old’s autograph book? Here's one my own Mother wrote (how do you underline words without messing it all up?):

 

Many years ago today

A wilderness was here,

A man with powder in his gun

Went out to get a deer.

Now the times have changed a bit,

They have a different plan,

A dear with powder on her nose

Goes out get her man!!    

 

This , as innocent as it was, was quite suggestive for my mother and she was quite embarrassed to write it for me!!

 

I was so very sorry to learn about the three guys that have passed on...especially Bill Borland, I talked with him through Sam's work , not a real long time ago. Do you know what happened with each of them. I don't mean to be morbid, I guess its the nurse in me...need to understand the whole picture.

 

I knew of Danny Morse's death not too long after it happened. Dave Coats told me about it. Did you know Danny was diabetic since childhood? He never took care of himself and always said that he would die young so why not live to the hilt.? He died from the diabetes/ complications. I always liked Danny, he was never afraid of my Mom's evil eye. In fact he talked her into taking a ride in his souped up car and when he got her out on a clear stretch he nearly frightened her into shock!! Even with that experience, he talked her into letting me go out in his really "safe" car. I don't get it????

 

Tell me what ; happened to Donna Kennedy who was married right out of school to one of the Mason twins???? That is a shock to me, she was soooo in love?

 

Has Bill Mills connected with anyone yet or is he the eternal bachelor? I went out with him a couple of times. Once at Michigan State . He told me to prepare for an all-nighter at a professor's house. ???? Real strange.  As it turned out, Bill was a friend with this English professor who must have been a real voyeur, he would ask these guys to parties and then watch them make-out with their dates... not com fortable to me. I often think of Bill paired up with Kay Carrigan, they dated off and on and seemed to be a good match. Do you know what happened to Kay. She and I paled around together for a while and she turned me onto Donavan music. She also tried to turn me onto the recreational pastime that you smoke along with it...I was happy enough to watch her mellow out and to listen to the music on my own terms!!!  

I did reach Eric and boy was he happy too. It was great to chat with him too.

 

More latter,

 

Love,

Connie

Email from Connie to Max:  

Hey There!

I sent a message on Monday. Did you receive it?  Probably a delay to Tues.  Can't remember what time it was.  Anyway, sorry for the poor timing.  

I believe that one had a lot of questions re. trip and details, if it did not get to you let me know..  

Today is a day identical to a gloomy Feb. day and I hate the whole month of Feb.  as a norm.  Not a nice day. Say we will get even more snow and ice tonite. They are holding out a carrot tho' as weathermen are wont to do...72 degrees by Fri. Whether I should believe them is up for grabs.  

Had a shopping-lunch excursion with Sandi at 12:30 which I slept through , can't get into a good routine, which I am so trying to do before your visit. I guess I need to warn you that you may have some free time without me in the mornings especially. Maybe you should be prepared for that and please understand it is in no way an avoidance or disinterest thing, I would prefer a 24 hr day while you are here but I'm definitely unable to do that or even any of that. The most important thing of this is please do not take this behavior at any personal level...it is only a part of my health problem that I/we have to deal.  Ok?   

Sounds like you had a nice, average, quiet, productive weekend... that's good. I am so grateful for your thoughtfulness in sending me the Gene Pitney CD... Wow!  

I have been looking at the Philco record player...it has speeds of 33, 45, and 75's...Could be a riot.  Have stacks of 33's and 75's from my mother's stuff. But this will make it much easier to get a CD. Thank you, thank you, thank you...soooo much!   

Let me know how your plans are working out for the trip, OK?   

Miss you,

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Wed 4/9/03 5:28 PM

Hey, such a good deal.

 

I haven't had a chance to respond to your last email and I get another. I like it!

 

I got all of your messages but, for some reason, they get here late to me and that seems to get us a little out of sync.

 

I like your poem too! Your mom's poem may have been as risqué as most people got at the time. I read some of my dad's letters to my mom before they were married. Interesting but absolutely tame and a little boring by today's standards (or even 60's standards, for that matter).

 

I'll have to go back and read old emails to refresh my memory about Bill Borland. I learned about Danny from his niece, Lisa and from what she said about him, he must have been real good uncle. While in high school, I had no idea that Danny was diabetic. I did know that Bill Goulette was diabetic and, like Danny, refused to take care of himself. I wasn't at all surprised to hear that Goulette's life was so much shorter than it could have been.

 

I didn't know about Donna Kennedy. I know Ray Mason and Janice Fath were high school sweethearts, are still married and am pretty sure that they got hitched right after high school. I know Roy was married to Peggy Bailey for a while before they broke up and Roy married Pat Chase. Could be that Donna and Roy were together before Roy and Peggy married. I don't know for sure. I met Peggy's husband last summer and I told him about my one night, one kiss stand with Peggy and he proceeded to tell me more about their married life than I ever wanted to know. I called to talk to Peggy a few times after that and Larry always answered and said that she was either not there or sleeping an he didn't want to wake her. Hmmmm. Back to Donna. I think somebody told me that a girl named Kennedy died but I don't think it was Donna. Also, she lived in my neighborhood and you may not have known her but I also heard that Sandy Potts was either dead or dying of cancer. Too many too soon... Let's keep fightin' it OK!!!

 

Yeah, sounds like Bill Mills hasn't changed much. Your date was an interesting story... Did Bill attend MSU? Bob Pyle says that Bill is still single and traveling around wherever and whenever the wind blows him. I didn't know or remember about Bill and Kay being together. I talked to Kay's dad, Elmer, when I was back last summer and he said that her name is now Landers and she lives in Tennessee , I think. Now that you mention her, maybe I'll try to find her and give her a call to see what she's been up to for the last 30 some years.

 

I don't know if you knew Joan Chase but when I talked to Pat, her younger sister, I found out that her name is now Garcia and she lives in Houston . I also talked to Ken Hoot last summer (we were neighbors) and he is doing well. I think he said that his sister Joyce, who you may have known, now lives in Houston too.

 

I'm really glad you talked to Eric. He seems fun and funny and it will be good to meet him again some day.

 

I didn't think to ask, do you not have a CD player? How 'bout a CD player on your PC? If you have speakers on your PC sometimes that works for music. Otherwise, now may be a good time to buy a CD player, I guess (I don't have one but my wife, son and daughter all have them in their cars).  Sorry... but I don't think Amazon had the 25 greatest hits on an LP.

 

Not a morning person, huh? Well, the one hour time difference will help some but I guess you'll just have to clue me in on the location all of Lawton's morning hot spots so I can start the party early without you... ;-)  And no, I would never be offended by your need to take care of yourself.

 

As a matter of fact, after more than 35 years of marriage, a guy sort of gets so used to avoidance and disinterest in the morning that I probably wouldn't have even been aware of a problem if you hadn't apologized ahead of time. ;-)

 

5:20 PM and time to go home again. Sleep well...

 

Later, Love

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Wednesday, April 09, 2003 8:00 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: twice in one day...lucky us!  

Hey There!

I'll try to remember all your questions., getting late and brain dysfunction sets in.

 

Yes, Bill Mills attended MSU but I don't know for how long. After that "date" I never saw him again!! Too fast for me... I kinda remember Pat Chase but not as well as Dorothy and Joan. Liked them though. Ken Hoot and I dated for a very short while may 1 or 2 dates after H.S. I think it was a double date with Clay and Connie Hoot , was not a pleasant experience....that green monster can get the best of me sometime. Ken married Carla (don't remember her maiden name) but she was my Mom's secretary for many years at Dow. Really a sweet gal and very helpful to my mom. Unfortunately, she had to take the brunt of my misfortunes 'cause Mom would talk to Carla instead of me to solve our "problems".

 

I spent today watching a lot of TV, or the end of Saddam's governance....Yea!!! The street scenes were much like the European scenes when GI's liberated France , etc. If there is any good about a war I would say the end of it is the best part. Sure hope they find proof soon that Saddam is truly dead so all can go on rapidly. Those poor people have had such a horrible life for so long, it's time they get a break and a chance to be com e self-actualized people.

 

The tape arrived today !!!!! Its absolutely terrific, I haven't had a chance to listen to the whole thing yet, past Home Health stopped in and stayed quite a while...my hope is to turn down the lights and the action and just listen. Thanx so much, Max.

 

In fact, I think right now is a good time... talk later.

 

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Thu 4/10/03 4:34 PM

 

Hi,

 

I spent about an hour or so at his house but didn't meet Ken  Hoot 's wife because she was a work. Ken retired a couple of years ago after 26 years at Dow Corning but his wife (don't remember but I assume Carla) still works part time at the Dow Library to keep busy. He has two kids, a boy and a girl, I think, who are graduated from college, moved away from home, married and with good jobs. He has a nice house on 70 acres of woods just a few miles north of where we grew up in MillsTownship . He spends at least some of his time chasing deer from his landscaped yard, gardening and fishing in his own half acre pond full of large Bass, Catfish and Bluegills which he knows by name (uses barb less hooks and throws 'em back). Maybe when I'm back in Michigan again this summer for a longer time, I'll have time to meet Carla (and maybe even catch one or two of his fishies). I didn't know you'd dated or I might have ask about his memory of you ;-) 

 

It's too bad your health doesn't allow long drives or maybe I could spend a few more days and we could drive around a little to visit. Any hope of feeling well enough in the near future to do that? I'd be happy to chauffer...

 

Ray Mason is a nearly retired bricklayer and he and wife Janice have a situation similar to Ken's with 40 acres of woods on Hope Road . They have a small beaver pond but Ray also has a large boat that he uses to catch his fish from lake Michigan (which he keeps and eats, I presume). They have a pretty post high school age daughter who does fingernails for a living and still lives at home and an older son who lives next door in a new house that he and Ray just built.

 

I don't get much time to watch the war efforts but I do listen to the radio and have thought a lot about it. Although I agree with the ends, I think for our own sake, we should have kept Saddam's head down and harassed him with inspections for another year or so until the US  economy was more com pletely recovered. Since he was never going to cooperate anyway, we might have even been able to wait for the inspections not to work and maybe (perhaps a big maybe) gotten some help from Europe .

 

Regardless of what happens, it's going to cost a lot.  I suppose it's too late now though to worry about that. I think all we can do is support the current efforts and hope that the inevitable anarchy (looting, factional fighting, etc.) of the transition to something better doesn't last too long. I hear that some areas of Afghanistan are already returning to the old bad Taliban ways. As pricey as it may be, if we don't stay in Iraq long enough, I'm afraid the bad guys may com e back there too. And unfortunately, wherever in the world that bad stuff happens, it's always the women and kids who suffer most of the damage. Maybe you saw some of that sort of thing in Bolivia and Lebanon and can tell me about it.

 

The weather has been good here. In the 80s the last couple of days. Did the warm dry air help your arthritis some when you lived in Tucson ? Is Home Health a Michigan program and how does it work?  I hope Home Health only stayed with you quite awhile just to yak and not because they needed to. Were you unable to get something like Home Health in Arizona ?  By the way, if health problems com e up at the last minute that may make my visit difficult or un com fortable for you, don't hesitate to let me know and I can easily change the flight to a later date.

 

Glad you liked the CD. I ordered two and am still waiting for my copy to arrive.

 

Gotta go again...

 

Love to hear from ya,

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:

 

Fri 4/11/03 7:24 AM

 

Hey girl...

 

Just got the Gene Pitney CD. I may be sorry that I ordered it. I listened to about half of it but skipped through the rest. Makes me wish so much that I was sixteen again that it almost hurts :-(

 

Got a bunch of personal stuff to do and am taking the rest to the day off of work so I won't get any messages here until Monday. I may send some pictures from home.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Love,

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:

Tue 4/15/03 5:15 PM

 

Hello there young lady,

 

I apologize for my short note the other day but I've been busy and haven't had enough time to sit still and write to you. I hope you had a good weekend.

 

I left work early Friday cause I'd promised my brother an airplane ride so I flew down to Casa Grande from here in Mesa to pick him. He wanted to go to breakfast so we went to Ryan Field, near your house in Tucson, but found out when we got there that the restaurant had been closed. Too bad, I thought it was a pretty good place to eat.

 

I usually spend Saturdays at the airport but Kerri wanted to take a drive somewhere on Saturday so I stayed home. Turned out that she stayed up too late on Friday night and didn't feel like the drive when she got up late the next morning so I ended up spending about a half day working on the plane anyway.

 

Sunday was pretty slow. Had lots to do that I was able to avoid doing. I felt pretty lazy. Weekend weather was nice though... in the 80's. Got a nice little rain last night.

 

Here's some professional stuff for ya. Went to see a Gastroenterologist today. Says I have a Hiatal Hernia and a Shatzki's ring. He says, with pills, I should be able to ignore the first thing and he'll fix the second by stickin' a balloon down my throat. Sure sounds like fun!

 

Are you feeling OK?

 

Miss hearin' from ya...

Love,

Max

Email from Max to Connie:

Thu 4/17/03 4:23 PM

 

Hi,

 

I intended to call again tonight but have to leave early to fix my daughter's new? car (2001 Mazda). I'll try again for tomorrow night...

 

Have a great evening!

 

Love,

 

Max

Email from Connie to Max: 

 
From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 1:34 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Hooray, I have remerged once more!  

Hey There!

I am out of much of the nasties with a horrible sinus headache and infection. I did as much as I could and as intensely as I could to be better for your visit. I'm most anxious to be well, so we can do some things while you are here. 

 

I can't believe the 24th is almost here... seems like its been a long time waiting, maybe just looking forward to it has put added "time' into the waiting?!

 

I really don’t have much else to say I've been just trying to get better....so

Be safe and stay well,

 

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Wed 4/23/03 3:29 PM

 

Hi,

 

I'm glad you are feeling better. Please don't ever get sick again ;-)

 

I expect to be in Lawton between 4 and 5 tomorrow and will call you when I get there.

 

See you then...

 

Love,

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Saturday, April 26, 2003 7:58 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: WOW!  

Hey there!

It was wonderful to see you. I really enjoyed every minute we had together. I hope you were as enchanted with our reunion as I was. I was really excited to watch you and Don hit on the Russia deal and all...its very rare for me to see anyone able to actually talk to him about actual events and about Bucky and his work. 

 

Don was interviewed by PBS for a documentary about Bucky's life just last week and we are all anxious to see it. it will be several months if not a year.

 

It was really fun and wonderful to get to know you again and to see those green eyes once more... I thought they were brown in my memory. I definitely remember your hands and hope I didn't embarrass you with my outward recognition in the car. I have to say I was very tired....I went to bed at 11:00 and didn't wake til 5p.m.

 

But it was a wonderful tired and most worth it. Even put a blister on my right foot because I haven't been on my feet for such a length of time in ages. Worth that too!

 

I'm going to make this short as I am still in need of rest so I'll sign off. Miss you already.

 

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Mon 4/28/03 9:02 AM

 

Hi,

 

Thank you very much for the note!

 

I had a great time too and have lots of things to say but two days off have left me in a "Catch up" mode here at work! I will get back to you as soon as I can, hopefully, within the next day or two.

 

Love,

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:

Thu 5/1/03 4:23 PM

 

Hey girl,

 

Still thinkin' 'bout ya... just havin' trouble findin' enough time to talk...

 

Love,

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Thursday, May 01, 2003 7:07 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: My lovely souvenir....  

Hey There!

Sorry I haven't heard from you lately, please don't think too hard, you're making me very nervous!

 

Again I had a great time with you and hope to spend more. I must tell you of my souvenir that was self=made.  Remember now, we did no extraordinary walking, right? Well, I got a huge blister on my right foot and now face possible surgery because there is a cavernous wound underneath the blister area and under the normal callous that I bear weight on. I was admitted, reluctantly, to home health service again, off my feet in the wheelchair for at least 10 days and maybe more if I have to have surgery!

 

You didn't know I was such a fragile creature did you? cough, cough, gag, gag. This is what depresses me so much, I can't do even less than normal activity and something like this happens.....I'm tired of it.

 

Though my immediate future is dim, it was totally worth it and I'd do it again. My only choice is to keep on trying and be happy with the big picture, and I am. I don't mean to distress you nor do I ever want you to feel guilty for taking me out...it was wonderful and I love the memories. Who knows it could have been primed to happen anyway but would have taken longer to happen...no one can tell for sure.

So, I'll keep you posted only if you promise NOT to apologize or feel any guilt about this, entiendo???

 

Much Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Fri 5/2/03 9:53 AM

 

Hi,

 

Thanks for the note and no, I'm not thinking that hard. I'm just having trouble finding the time to think at all. Still playing catch up here and my boss took the day off and gave his duties to me.

 

Have to go to a meeting...

 

Talk to you soon, I hope...

 

Love,

Max

Email from Max to Connie:

Fri 5/2/03 3:52 PM

Hi,

 

I'm sorry that it's taken so long to return your emails...

 

I was so very happy to see you again and pleasantly surprised as well. With all of your health problems, I didn't know what to expect and feared that you wouldn't be able to do as much as we were able to do. Did the pain medication that you take keep you from knowing the seriousness of the blister? Next time I'll just have to drive you around in the chair, OK?  

 

First, I must thank you very much for inviting me into your beautiful home and back into your life. Your willingness to endure that blister just makes me even more grateful that you did that.

 

Especially for such a small town, the food was great and the dinner conversation even better. I'm a little sorry (but not too sorry) that I was so selfish about wanting to learn more about your life than telling you about mine but I couldn't help it. My periodic silences were often just thinking about the next question and how I could or should ask it. I wanted to be personal but not so personal that you would be offended. I hope I did OK.

 

You do have some great friends. It would have been nice to meet more of them. Maybe next time. And Don is a gem. Probably one of the most open minded skeptics that I've ever met. I bet you've only scratched the surface of a lifetime full of interesting stories that he has to tell and a bundle of ideas that still seem to bubble from a lifetime full of ideas. Tom appeared to be a more curious sort of guy. You'll have to tell me more about him and about your other friends (like the one who called to wish you well) as time goes by. From snatches of conversation between you and Don, I assume that you have some stories about your times and travels together and I would like to hear them.

 

I'm sure too that, although you did give me some highlights (or lowlights), you must have more "Adventures with Larry" stories that would be fun for me to hear.

 

The childhood photos and the photos of your early adventures were wonderful and just what I wanted to see and the stories about them are just what I wanted to hear. All of those photos reminded me again of why I was so attracted to you. Intellectually, I know that looks should be less important than they are, but I still wonder if you were aware of your beauty at the time and the effect that it must have had on the boys (including me, of course) that saw or knew you. Those candid shots of you with your friends in Bolivia were great pictures of the girl I never really got to know but I have to be honest and tell you that, out of politeness, I had to be careful not to dwell too long on that bikini clad girl in other pictures :-)   I must also tell you that, after seeing your wedding pictures, I was terribly disappointed not to be the guy who was with you on your wedding night. Poor, poor me :-(

 

I really enjoyed our trip to South Haven and back and learning a little about the time in your life while on your own between Larry and Sam. You touched on it some while we were driving and when we visited your house but maybe you could say more sometime if you feel like it.

 

Don's place sure was great and, if it weren't for the  Michigan cold, kinda made me envious of his life and the circumstances that got him where he is today. It certainly seems like a wonderful way to spend a second childhood, don't you think?

 

I know from the health problems that we have talked about that you are a pretty tough cookie but I was still bothered by how fragile you look. It may not be something I should say but I can understand Sam's fear. It seems from what you told me that he must have loved you a lot (and may still) to carry you through so many hard times. I imagine that he felt that the toll that he paid must have been greater for him than it was for you. I can only hope that, as a guy, if I were to face the same situation with Kerri, I would handle it as well or better. I don't know but it gives me a lot of food for thought. I think that you can understand that I also hope that I don't have to find out.

 

Happily, on the positive side, your thinker still works real good and what you can't do with your fragile body, maybe you can do with the words that pass between you and me and between you and those great friends.

 

I still have more to say but have run out of time again.

 

I'll try to get back you as soon as I can next week...

 

Love,

Max

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Monday, May 05, 2003 6:17 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Hooray for my side!  

Hey There!

I did well at the doctor's today... no inpatient surgery. He did some in the office and I am well on my way to healing. I've been taking old supplements that I had stopped a few years ago and I think they have helped. The original blister is closed but it had tunneled under a large callous and could not heal that part. So he took off the callous and the rest of the hole is in real good shape, doesn't even require antibiotics. They plastered piano felt around the wound so I can walk without putting pressure on it and I return in one week. Have to stay off it as much as possible so I am using the chair in the house, but that's ok.

 

When can you find some time to talk... I'm really curious how you feel about our visit beyond what you have already shared... and thank you for that.  I have a story to tell re your yearning to be with me on my wedding nite.. truth be told so would I because Larry had bronchitis and coughed all night long and we slept in separate beds in separate rooms.....great start , no? Maybe you should have been there?

 

The bikini pictures startled me... I can't believe I would wear such a thing, but at the time it felt real comfy....Is/was there a show-off streak in me back then? So you liked ? Too bad I've turned so old so fast, not fun.

 

Not much else new here, pretty boring sitting all the time. Please write when you can. Are you in any kind of trouble for having come here? Is Kerri ok? Is your boss ok? Hope the fallout, if any was minimal.  

Love to you,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:

Tue 5/6/03 9:52 AM

Hi again,

 

Very glad to hear the good news about your footsie...  Things are fine here at work and at home. I am the designated department manager until my boss gets back on Thursday so time is still short. I will try to get back to you as soon as I can after he returns.

 

While your sitting with that foot up, you can start writing that book you talked about :-) ... OK?

 

Be well...

 

Love,

Max

 Email from Connie to Max:   

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2003 5:40 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: More news

 

Hey There!

Went to the eye doctor today for annual check up for the effect of diabetes on my eyes. Apparently the 2 day com a with high blood sugars caused some undetected damage and now I need laser surgery on my retina of left eye as it is leaking and leaving hard nodules. I go the 15th for the initial testing to map out the route for the laser. They will put dye in my vein and watch the circulation through the eye. Then will schedule surgery ASAP. It was frightening at first to hear all this but I'm now reassured they can save my sight to where it is now and prevent any blurring or further damage for the foreseeable future. My eyes are connected to my whole soul and to be without them would be too hard for me. So think positive for me, especially on the 15th.   

Tell me more, tell me more.....  

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:  

Wed 5/7/03 10:32 AM

 

Gee girl...

 

It looks like you are destined to remain a part of the medical system no matter what!  It sure was a lot better when you were on the giving end of the system than the receiving end though.

 

Back to you soon,

 

Thinking positive, thinking positive...

 

Love,

Max

Email from Max to Connie:  

Thu 5/8/03 6:08 PM

Hello again,

 

Finally, a little spare time to write.

 

Although I'd lose big time if there was a medical problem com petition with you, I've had to take care of some health issues to take care of too. The Tuesday after I returned from Chicago , I spent 2 1/2 hours in the dentist's chair having a bridge replaced and last Monday I had my throat reamed out to clear an obstruction. I'm fine but I think it's a good thing I was asleep for that because the Dr's report didn't sound like it went easy.

 

Still have to go back to a dentist for an impacted molar though. That should be real fun, huh?

 

As for me vs. Larry... I did OK with Kerri but I suspect that you wouldn't have had near as much fun as the wife of a GI stuck in Wyoming or a poor starving college student for almost 4 years shortly thereafter as you did going off with Larry to see the world. It has been interesting for me to think about though...

 

As for you as a bikini babe... hey, what can I say... I'm a guy. Near naked (or naked) girls are what we live for ;-) Although intellectually, some of us know that brains may be more important than beauty, thousands of years of evolution and 15 or 20 years of '50s and '60 macho culture are hard to over com e. As for your feelings about openly sharing your good looks, I can't know why you should ever be un com fortable because I haven't had your experiences in life. I only know that, although sometimes embarrassing to me, my daughter sure doesn't seem to be afraid to flaunt what she's got. It's not unusual for me to have to step over one of her thongs, peek a boo bras or skimpy bikinis whenever I have to use her bathroom. She's a real good kid so I don't know if that's good or bad. I guess only time will tell.

 

Well, I still have lots more to say but it's after 6 and I should go home. I'll write again ASAP.

 

Love,

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:

Fri 5/9/03 5:20 PM

 

Hi,

 

Was your eye problem detected soon enough that you can still see OK right now? I'm still hoping for that "Fountain of Youth" pill for you. They're gettin' closer so you just gotta hang in there long enough for them to invent it.

 

Relative to your health, as soon as I noticed the difficulty that you had walking, being a typical male, I began to feel sorry for myself :-(  I was sort of looking forward to at least one dance to a Gene Pitney song. I may have been too cautious but you looked fragile enough to me that I was even sort of afraid to hold or hang on to you too tight. I hope you didn't think that I was being too distant. I had a lot of anxiety about meeting you again and though most of that went away after talking with you a while, I still have a mixed emotions about what it all meant to me. Still lots of curiosity about you and your life, still some nagging concerns about the long term negative affects of my teenage behavior, dreams and hopes to see you get healthy again, to help keep your spirits high for the future and for you to be happy, wishes for a long and more com fortable life and a strong desire to continue our conversations to sort all of that out.  

 

This is shorter than I'd like but it's late and I need to get home again. Please have a great weekend and I'll try to get back to you early next week.

 

Love,

Max  

 

PS: I sent a book for you to take to Don whenever you are up for a trip to the lake. Tell him I said Hi and enjoy...

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Sunday, May 11, 2003 7:07 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Nasty weather.....  

Hey There!

So glad to hear from you... sounds like you've had your share of Docs too. What was obstructing your throat? Sounds not good ? Any reports yet? What was the doctor's report that indicated a rough time? Sure hope all is well. You also once mentioned a gastroscopy and colonoscopy...just a check-up or problems that you already know about? Please excuse my bold questions...just the nurse in me that I am unable to censor. Just tell me to back off if I am out of line.

 

You asked about my vision...right now it is just fine, the surgery is to keep what I still have and to prevent any deterioration. The retina is weeping in several areas and if it continues it will leave scar tissue and that will cause poor vision and eventually blindness. So , we are hopeful that we are getting to it soon enough to hold off any more changes for a while. I am so lucky to have two of the best retinal surgeons available to work with me. On Wednesday I get started with the dye to the eye to map out the areas that need laser. So far so good and hope to keep it that way.

 

I had put a magnet under the hole in my foot and it is now all the way closed up! I see the podiatrist tomorrow and am anxious to watch his reaction to the speed at which my foot healed. I wonder if he will accept the healing property of the magnet or if he will pooh-pooh it??? 

Went to a nice ceremony at the monthly board meeting last Thursday and received a lovely 5 year pin...very nice. The work on the board is be coming more challenging these days and I'm looking forward to the meetings once again.

 

I hope that  you don't feel I'm so fragile that I will break into...I won't. I too was hoping for a slow dance or two, too. I'm sure I could lean on you enough to stay balanced. Now the stroll, social, twist and others, that's another story. However, I have been bee-bopping around the house some since I've been playing my old 45's...what fun. Maybe by the time I see you again I can hold my own?  I'm also sorry that I gave you a bad headache to make you leave so quickly.  Am I correct in thinking this was some kind of role reversal??

 

Keep sharing as long as you can....anxiously waiting to hear from you....  

Love,

Connie

Email from Max to Connie:  

-----Original Message-----
From: Bishop, Max
Sent: Monday, May 12, 2003 5:36 PM
To: 'Connie'
Subject: RE: Nasty weather.....

Hello,

 

Weather is starting to get warm here...

 

OK nurse Docherty here's my recent medical history...

 

For the last year or so, I've been having a lot of heartburn and some occasional acid reflux. I decided to go the Doctor after I woke up choking and unable to breath a few times in the middle of the night (aspirating my vomit was the technical term that the Dr. used).  X-rays showed that I had a hiatal hernia and a Schlatzky's ring (which often accompanies a hiatal hernia).  The gastroscopy was to examine my esophagus (no colonoscopy) for acid damage and they used a balloon to break up the Schlatsky's ring. The trouble was in having to try three times with increasingly larger balloons to break the ring. They did but I was apparently gagging so badly that they decided to forego a planned biopsy. Thank goodness I was well drugged. (If you're interested, I've also had a tonsillectomy, vasectomy and hernia operation all of which were more painful than the sore throat I had from the endoscopy and probably too routine and boring to hear about)

 

Anyway, I can now swallow just fine and the little miracle pill they gave me (Aciphex) has eliminated the heartburn and acid reflux com pletely. Got great color pictures of my throat, too!

 

I'm happy to hear the good prognosis on your eye. Keep me posted on how the procedures work out.

 

As for magnets on your foot... you have probably guessed that I'm a skeptic about the alternative stuff but, from what I've read, I'm probably a little less skeptical about magnets because of what they are doing with machines like MRI's. Also, as a student of pop psychology, I know the placebo effect is real and I'm pretty sure that whatever we think will work will probably have at least some good affect (even on a skeptic like me). So... it doesn't really matter that the doctor poohs on it. If it works for you, who cares ;-)

 

The 5 year award is great, the 10 year one will be even better... Hang in there.

 

Sure am glad to hear that you're a bee-bopping. I don't do enough of that!  And no, you didn't give me a headache. I think it was mostly 2 long days with a little too much anxiety, almost no sleep and a lot of concentrated thinkin' (maybe I was trying a little too hard to keep track of and remember everything). And I don't think I've ever done any "Not tonight honey, I have a headache." role reversing that I can remember ;-)

 

It's gettin' late again and I gotta go... Let me know when you get the book I sent, what you think about it and if you can take it out to show Don sometime soon.

Love,

Max  

Email from Connie to Max:  

From: Connie [mailto:cdoc@mei.net]
Sent: Monday, May 12, 2003 10:14 PM
To: Bishop, Max
Subject: Good Day!  

Hey There!

Not a bad day today...went back to the foot doctor today. He was very impressed how fast this wound healed. I asked if the magnet was integral to the fast process. and he replied, "You have the felt pad and a comfortable position and you have a magnet, now which do you think had the effect?? I said both and equally so but he doesn't buy it...ho hum. two more weeks on the ortho shoe and break in a pair of horribly un comfortable black clods and then I should be done.

 

Went to get groceries alone for the first time in a while...went well and got it all done and put away in a reasonable length of time...goal to get stronger and improve body mechanics...on my way, anyway.

 

So glad your balloon procedure worked so well, not glad about all the discomfort! Hope all is well now and will stay that way.  Are you done with the dental work.? I would rather have major surgery than go to the dentist! It stems from my horrible experience in fourth grade when I tripped on the ice and broke my jaw in two places. Was in the dental chair 12-plus hours. Never saw my dad cry except that day. Had something like 13 Novocain injections while the dentist drilled out the teeth and did root canals on the two front spaces, placed the teeth back in and put braces to hold in the teeth and to set the jaw, then wired my mouth shut for 3 weeks, had to eat through a straw. After 3 weeks I could eat but had braces for many more weeks....in other words I hate to go to the dentist!!!

 

Enuff for now I'm rambling again... write soon

 

Love to ya,

Connie

PS: got the book, looks fascinating, I'll get it to Don soon. Thank you so much!

Email from Max to Connie:

Tue 5/13/03 5:07 PM

 

Hi,

 

Goin' to the store is good... I'm really glad you're up to getting out and about!  I know it's just groceries but is shopping one of the things you like to do? It seems to be one of Kerri's favorite forms of entertainment ;-)

 

I have a story about goals...

 

Within days of when he was liberated as a prisoner of war, my dad became very sick (he may have had a severe case of hepatitis but now doesn't remember). For a while didn't care whether he lived or died. He was sent to a hospital on the coast of France , in sight of the sea port where the troop ships landed to carry soldiers back to America . He slowly began to get better and asked a nurse when he would be allowed to go home. The nurse told him that as soon as he was strong enough to walk down to the dock and make it back again all by himself, he could leave. From then on, every day that he could, he would start out for the dock and return when he could go no further.  I think he said it took more than a month but he eventually made it and had a great ride home on the Queen Elizabeth, married Mom and here I am...

 

Thank goodness for good goals (and the nurses who set them)...

 

More a little later,

 

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:  

Thu 5/15/03 5:19 PM

 

Hi!

 

Hope you're out of the ugly clods and dancin' barefoot again soon.

 

Very bad about your early dentist experience. How old were you? I think you told me about the broken jaw but didn't fill in the gory dental details.  I had a 6 1/2 hour experience with a difficult root canal job not too long ago. Not much pain but extremely un comfortable for a long time. I go to consult on the impacted wisdom tooth next Monday.

 

Maybe I shouldn't say it but, from your dad's tears, it seems that he must have had at least some sympathy for your feelings. It's too bad that, from his actions, the lifetime of pain that he caused would not be as visible to him as the suffering he witnessed while you sat in that chair.

 

On a brighter side, sun-wise that is, we are expecting our first 100 degree day soon. I didn't used to mind the warm weather so much but now that I live in an air conditioned house and, in an air conditioned truck, drive to work in an air conditioned building, the heat often gets to me.

 

I sure wish I'd planned ahead enough (financially) to be a snowbird... maybe some day when I'm older and grayer. Sure would have been nice to have a summer home on a lake, huh?

 

I'd like to spend more time but I've gotta go again.

 

I'll try to start another note tomorrow.

 

 

Love,

Max  

Email from Max to Connie:  

Fri 5/16/03 4:32 PM

 

Hi,

 

I added some to my Utah Story a while back and, since I pushed you to do most of the talking before, thought I'd make up for it a little and send the latest update to reveal a little more about my sordid past. This edit includes the old stuff with the new stuff in bold characters (at least on my PC, I don't know how well your email translates the text format). 

 

I hope it's readable...

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Love,

 

Max

 

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